What Not to Wear

This post should probably be called What You Can't Wear Anymore or maybe The 5 Things that You Can Wear or more appropriately Another Post Wear I Bitch About Something. Today, I'd like to bitch about my wardrobe or lack thereof. Since I had Sophia and swore off all maternity clothes, I have very little to wear. Every morning, I walk into a completely full closet and pull out one of about three outfits that fit me. "Oh you must be exaggerating," you say. Ha!!! Let me detail exactly what I have that "fits"

• 1 pair of jeans - they are actually too big, but I refuse to buy a smaller size because eventually, I'll fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, right? Of course, by then they'll be out of style, but it's the principle of the thing.
• 1 long black skirt/1 long denim skirt - these have been my summer staple so far whenever I need to look respectable.
• 2 polo shirts - I picked these up at Target a few weeks ago when I literally couldn't fit into anything but a t-shirt. Unfortunately, I later learned that busty women (i.e. breastfeeding Moms) should not wear polo shirts because they make you look like you have a uni-boob. Great. Thanks for the advice!
• 2 casual type cotton shirts - These I bought recently and apparently the v-neck and scoop necklines are better for busty ladies so I guess I lucked out on picking 2 things that actually fit and look respectably good (supposedly).
• 3 pairs of workout shorts - I'm not proud of these or the white, pasty legs that stick out of them, but it's getting hot here so the world will have to suffer with this fashion nightmare.
• Endless supply of t-shirts - This is pretty much what I wear every day. I have three types of t-shirts. I'll describe them in descending order from the ones I have the least of which is nice, clean, unstained, well-fitting t-shirts to ones that are either too big, too small, or too stained. This second bunch might still be worn in public, but I would have to justify that by remembering that I have a newborn. Finally, the ones that I have the most of are the too big, too stained, and too deteriorated kind (some that literally have holes in them). These shirts are saved for days when I'm mostly in the house, but let's face it I'm not above wearing them somewhere like the grocery store if I didn't feel like changing.
• 2 sweatsuits - yup, the kind your grandma wears. I'm not proud.

Ok. That is the full extent of the clothes in my closet that I can wear right now. I'm only about 13lbs above where I was pre-pregnancy, but I think that even if I lose the weight, I'm still not going to fit into stuff. You see things just aren't where they used to be. I've tried to go to the store to buy more clothes, but everything either looks weird with my new shape or is too expensive for what I'm hoping is a temporary size issue. I've actually started walking and exercising this week not because I think that I look that bad but because I'm tired of wearing the exact same 4 shirts, 2 skirts, and 1 pair of jeans over and over again.

Plus, let's face it, Sophia is going to be 6 weeks old on Friday, which means that I'm getting dangerously close to not being able to use the newborn excuse for my disheveled appearance anymore. I suppose that sometime in the next 2 weeks or so I'll have to start wearing makeup and combing my hair again. If I don't, I hope that someone has Stacy and Clinton (hosts of What Not to Wear) on speed dial because at that point they might be my only hope.