Cake Controversy

I am about to tell a story that has kept us in absolute hysterics for the better part of a week now. I hope that I can accurately capture the true absurdity of the entire situation from all angles. Names will not be changed to protect the guilty. So, just sit right back and you'll read a tale...a tale of a fateful cake.

Let me start by saying that this is the ridiculous cake that I decided to get from Publix for Hailey's birthday. I know it plays into her princess-obsession which I loathe, but can you imagine the look of sheer joy that will come across her face when she sees it? That look alone was worth the $60 for the cake (what was I just saying about our princess being spoiled?). It was supposed to be a 3-minute call...a 3-minute call!!!!

Now the insanity and the subsequent controversy surrounding the cake began on Saturday (one week from Hailey's party which is 8/1) when my mother (who is in town now) decided that we could save money if she made the cake instead of buying it from Publix. Her plan was simply to bake, frost, and lightly decorate the square cakes that make up the bulk of it and then purchase the turrets and princess dolls for $15 on Ebay. Not a bad idea considering that she is fairly crafty and has a history of baking all of my cakes when I was little. I tell her that if she can pull of such a feat, I will put the cost difference in Hailey's college savings account (hey - every little bit counts, man!).

All we have to do is get Luke to buy in to this plan...here's where it gets a bit complicated. Luke decides that he wants to make the cake himself. As my mother and I begin to resist this plan, his scheme grows ever more complex, like an elaborate spider's web that pulls you in deeper the more you resist. Suddenly, he not only has to bake the cakes himself, but they must be from scratch - no cake mixes. Also, he has to roll his own fondant (that smooth type of frosting that is used on wedding cakes) - not the fondant you can buy at Michaels but the kind he's going to make himself, from scratch! Oh, and no buying the turrets, those have to be constructed from cake formed onto wooden dowels. Princesses, of course, will be sculpted and painted by hand from fondant. Before our very eyes, the husband that I know and love transformed into Duff Goldman, the Ace of Cakes himself. I mean, if these people who have gone to engineering and/or pastry chef school, have been making cakes for years, and have professional equipment can build 3' cakes from scratch on Food Network, then of course Luke can do it right in our very own kitchen.

Stay tuned for the next installment of the Cake Controversy tomorrow...