Luke tried unsuccessfully to give Sophia a bottle again last night. If I hadn't seen her shenanigans for myself, I would have never believed that there was a child who would not take a bottle. Yet, there she was flailing about, crying hysterically, and choking on my hard-pumped milk. It's a crazy scene. We finally gave up, and I breastfed her. You might say that she won. I like to think that we compromised - she got to keep her boob and I got to keep my eardrums. Fair enough.
Anyway, I think that her lack of bottle cooperation is having a serious psychological effect on me. At first it was funny, but as the end of my leave creeps closer, it's becoming much more of a dire situation. It seems that after these bottle incidents I immediately become very depressed, and I start to panic about going back to work. I know that it's a terrible thing to say, but I feel very trapped. I know that I should enjoy these moments with her because she will be babbling and running around like Hailey in no time. Yet, I just feel depressed and then I feel terrible about feeling depressed. Today was so bad that I actually called and extended my maternity leave by one week. Not that one week will make a difference, but I might as well take what I can get even if I don't get paid.
Tonight we will try a new type of bottle. Maybe that will make a difference, probably not. I'd welcome any words of encouragement.
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2 comments:
We have to miss you for a week longer? Boo :(
Emmaline was terrible about taking the bottle. If I had anything to do, she would withhold from feeding until I returned so she could nurse. The older she got, she realized the bottle could fill up her little belly the same as Mama. We used a plain old baby bottle -- nothing special, just a nipple that was really easy to suck and get milk. Laura didn't like breastmilk in the bottle. She wanted formula, and by the second child I realized it wouldn't kill her to drink some. =) Good luck.
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