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Hailey's Debut

Hailey stars in her first Microsoft video... You have to watch until the end (or fast forward) to see her.

TPE and TPA Defined

Tactical Parenting Error (TPE) - Everyone makes them, and you usually know as soon as you do because your child reminds you of your error constantly. For example, mentioning the park if you have no intention of going there, giving your hyper child chocolate milk before bedtime, making a promise that you can’t keep, introducing your child to a sugary food (like M&Ms…thank you Grandma). I call these tactical parenting errors because not only do they affect the parent/child dynamic at the time, but they also might have long term effects if, for example, your child asks for M&Ms every time you go to the store.

Tactical Parenting Adjustment (TPA) – This is a moment when you have to draw a line in the sand and dare your child to cross it so that they can experience the consequences. We’ve had two of these in the past two days. Two nights ago I had to tell Hailey that she would not get a story before bed if I had to come downstairs and carry her up for bed. I gave her every chance to make the right choice, and she did not. There was no story. There was 20 minutes of screaming and crying for Mommy to read her a story before she fell asleep. Next night no arguments before bed. Perfect TPA. This morning I had to take her Cheerios away because she kept getting up from the table and running around. Gave her two warnings and the Cheerios were taken away each time. On the third, she was told that this would be her last chance and the Cheerios would not come back if she got up again. She sat in her chair and ate them all with no questions asked. Classic TPA. No one likes having to make TPAs, but idol threats only work for so long. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices, and luckily for Hailey, I’m just stubborn enough to out stubborn her (at least for now!).

2 Weeks and Counting

Today we are officially two weeks away from our due date. I know that two weeks out is full term and the due date is just the midpoint between 38 and 42 weeks, blah, blah blah. However, I have to say that I don’t think this baby is coming for at least another week. Could be that I’ve just planned enough events that I don’t want to miss (pre-birth mani/pedi tonight, haircut tomorrow, 1 hr massage Saturday, dinner with friends next week, etc). Ok, I realize that a lot of things on my list are Mommy-pampering things, but you have to have something nice to focus on when you’re in labor and pretty nails and toes are a good place to start.

Bottom line is I don’t think that this baby is coming this week, but apparently, some of you think she’s coming next week. Here’s the official calendar and hair/eye color charts. Good luck to all, particularly those who choose early dates! No luck to Auntie Ann who should be publically shamed for guessing that Sophia will be as late as Hailey was.

This Baby May Fall Out

I just returned from an unplanned trip to see the midwives. I was having some shooting pains that felt like a knife being stabbed in a very unpleasant place. I figured that it was just pressure from the baby, but the stabbing feeling was beyond what I expected. It's ironic because friends of mine who have two kids kept asking me if I felt like the baby was going to fall out on the floor. "No, not really," I would reply quite proud of my body's ability to handle this pregnancy. Well, turns out that the stabbing pain and pressure is what they meant. The midwife said that there's nothing to worry about and felt that the baby's head was very very low. I guess I will just suffer the next few weeks feeling like the baby may fall out on the floor every time I stand up. Good times for all!

Best Hailey Quote from the Weekend...

“I’m sad because you’re making me crazy.”

Oh, child, it's only just the beginning. I will be making you crazy for many many years to come. HAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh).

Craig's List Wins and Losses

I’m trying to cope with the emotional blow of having my first Craig’s List failure. For someone who has lived by the CL for months, it’s sad to have to admit that I made a mistake. Last weekend I purchased an older model Ragazzi crib for $125. That’s a good price for that brand of crib, but the crib itself was not “white” as had been described in the ad. Instead, it was a very very blond wood. Having driven 20 miles to go get the stupid thing, I figured that we could just paint it. My poor mother (who has been in town for a week helping me) was charged with doing just that. Well, today she threw in the towel. The organic paint that we bought was just not covering on the finish. So, we’ve given up, and I’m searching for a new crib. All in all, I will probably end up spending more on the crib than I would have if I had simply purchased a cheaper new one. That makes me sad. But, here’s what makes me happy…

Changing table + baskets – Craig’s List = $40; New price = $150; Savings =$110

Bunk beds – Online price = $426; New price = $2,148; Savings = $1,722

Britax Car Seat – Craig’s List = $85; New price = $160; Savings = $75

Doll House + Furniture – Craig’s List = $50; New price = $125; Savings=$75

Crib Bedding – Craig’s List = $40; New price = $80; Savings = $40

Total Savings = $2,022

So, if I spend a little extra on a new crib, I think that I'll still come out ahead. I've already found two others that I like and will probably pick one up tonight. I'll just make sure that I like everything about it before I fork over the cash this time!!!

I Need a Nap; You Need a Nap

By the age of 4, 50% of children will give up their afternoon naps. By the age of 5, about 70% stop napping. Well, Hailey’s a bit ahead of the curve. She’s only 2 (and a half), and she’s given up her nap. I didn’t really realize it until the teachers at school started telling me that she will just lay on her mat for 2 hours every day with her eyes open. She plays with her hair, sings songs to herself, talks, etc, but does not sleep. I protested for a while that she was a fabulous nap taker at home, sometimes sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon. Well, turns out I’m a big fat liar. She doesn’t necessarily sleep at home. She plays in her bed (now her bunk bed) until I come to get her. She used to sleep really well, and from time to time if she’s been up late, she might sleep a little. However, for the most part, she does not take naps.

Here’s where Mommy panic sets in. I’m not ready for her to give up her nap. That’s the only time on the weekends when I can really attack my “to do” list with reckless abandon. That’s my quiet time, my football time during the season, my Mommy time!!! Ugh. Ok. Stop panicking. The best approach in this situation is denial. She still takes naps. Yup. I’m going to continue to put her down for naps just like normal, if she sleeps fine, if she doesn’t sleep fine. Everyone needs some quiet time in the afternoon, even Mommy.

Chores and the Evil Parents Who Create Them

Ever since we found out that we were pregnant, we’ve tried to instill in Hailey a sense of chores and housework. We bought her a tall stool for the kitchen so that she can help cook, put away dishes, wash things, etc. Whenever I talk about her helping, I can’t stop myself from putting the word “help” in annoying little air quotes. Sometimes helping looks a lot like making a bigger mess. Sometimes it looks like only doing half of the job before being distracted, and sometimes it looks like Mama doing most of the actual work. So, you could say that we have a “helper” (if you include big air quotes and roll your eyes a little).

Still, she is getting much more independent, and she actually does help at times. For example, she often picks things up for me so that I don’t have to squish my belly trying to bend down. Picking things up for Mommy is an important chore at this stage in the game.

Anyway, I wanted to document some of the chores that she does around the house at the ripe old age of 2.5. And, no, we have not introduced the idea of an allowance so this is slave labor at this point….shhhhh don’t tell! Here's the list of things that she does when asked:

• Put away the clean silverware in the drawer;
• Feed the dog;
• Make tacos or pizza;
• Snap green beans or broccoli;
• Dispense water for dinner (we keep towels handy);
• Put dirty clothes in the hamper;
• Help fill the washing machine (excuse the black sock in with the whites, please);
• Put away her clean clothes (ok not yet, but this is coming shortly);
• Wipe up spills that she makes;
• Throws things in the garbage can (hopefully only when instructed);
• Put things in the recycle bins;
• Put (more like throw) her dishes in the sink after a meal; and
• Wipe any surface with a baby wipe when given the opportunity.

For the most part, she loves doing these things. If you have any other chores that she could do, please let me know. I’m sure that she’ll be in charge of many other things when Sophia comes.

Binky Capers...The Finale

I’m sure that you were on the edge of your seat all weekend wondering how the Binky Capers story would end. Well, let me tell you that our child is a champ! The night that we gave her the card from the Binky Fairy was the first night in her new bunk beds (pictures coming soon). She helped us round up all of the binkies in the house and put them in a Ziploc bag for Mommy to put on the porch (as per the Fairy’s detailed instructions). Then, we read a chapter of her Cindarella story, turned off the light, and she said “night night” as usual. Not another peep the rest of the night.

On Sunday morning when she woke up, she found a present and a big stuffed animal on the edge of her bed. She didn’t touch the present, but was giddy as a clam when I went in to wake her up. She was thrilled with the tea set that the binky fairy brought for her and played with it for a long time in the morning.

I would say that the whole thing was a huge success. She hasn’t asked for a binky since and even was brave enough to sleep on the top bunk last night. Of course, she didn’t take a nap on Sunday, but that’s a story for another blog.

Binky Capers

The bunk beds arrived tonight and are in great condition. I was really concerned about what the"damage" would be. I mean, what damage could possibly be worth the $1,500 that I saved by purchasing them as returned merchandise? Well, the inside bottom of one of the drawers is smashed to the point that we'll need to replace it. Nothing cosmetic at all. They look perfect from the outside. It's no problem. Now we just need mattresses.

So, we've been telling Hailey that when the bunk beds come, she would have to give up her binky because she would be a big girl sleeping in a big girl bed. The binky is like toddler crack. You give it to her, her eyes roll back in her head, and she gets all mellow. It's great for us as parents. She really only gets it when she's going to bed, but in an emergency, we can give it to her in the car or on the plane. Here's the problem...it's not good for her teeth and I'd rather sacrifice a few nights of sleep now rather than pay thousands of dollars in orthodontia bills later. Thus, the decision has been made - the binky must go.

How do you get rid of the binky with minimal pain and suffering? Well, according to my expert friends, you create binky fairy who writes the toddler a letter asking her to mail all of her binkies to the poor babies who don't have any. In exchange, the binky fairy brings the toddler a present and voila, no more binkies. Yeah, I don't really believe that it's going to work either, but I don't have any better ideas. So, off I go to decieve my child yet again.

Parent/Teacher Conference Day

I had Hailey’s first ever parent/teacher conference today. The assessment was very thorough and included 5 broad areas under which there were about a million minor little skills. The whole assessment is 10 pages single-spaced. Who knew that you were supposed to be able to do 10 pages worth of stuff by the time you're 2?!?!? The broad areas are large motor development, small motor development, cognitive development, language and literacy development, and social and emotional development. Here are some interesting tidbits about Hailey that come really as no surprise, but I’m putting them here for documentation purposes:

1. Hailey doesn’t like conflict and will walk away when children are rough-housing or fighting over toys;
2. If a child comes to take Hailey’s toy, she will give it up and go get another one of the same thing whenever possible;
3. She loves books and gets a check under everything related to speaking and communicating;
4. She is comfortable playing by herself;
5. Some days she will lie on her mat for 2 hours during naptime and never go to sleep (then where does she get the energy when she gets home???);
   
6. She knows her colors and shapes;
   
7. Despite the fact that she comes home and tells us that she was a bad listener and that her "ears don't work," the teacher has never actually had to say that to Hailey; and
8. She picks up on songs very quickly.

Things that Hailey will be working on in the next few weeks:

1. Learning the first and last name of everyone in her family;
2. Learning the letters that correspond to her name;
3. Working with scissors; and
4. Identifying numbers by sight.

PS: Check out the old school-style belly picture I posted on the last entry. I had to improvise last night, but I'll have Luke take something more official soon.

Time To Slow Down

I’m going to admit something that I hate to even consider…I think that I might need to slow down a bit. I guess that I thought that I was slowing down, but based on the burning, throbbing, shooting pain I have in my back today, perhaps I need to drop it down another notch. Slowing down and (gasp) relinquishing control is difficult for us Type A personalities, but I can’t keep making emergency trips to the chiropractor and I certainly don’t want to go in to pre-term labor. Perhaps I will make a sign for my bathroom mirror that reads “I am not Super Mom. I must take care of myself. I must let others help. I must sit down when I need to.”