Just Like Mommy or Daddy???

Mommy


Hailey

Luke

Hailey

I think that she looks just like Luke these days, especially with that curly hair.

Hailey's Christmas Dance

Merry Christmas

Thanks, Fanara Family! I love my new bike. Mama said that I have to play with it outside now, but it was pretty cool to ride it around the house. I'm soooo good at it that I won't let anyone helps me anymore. I just speed around on my own. Now, if only I could figure out how to use the pedals.


Thanks, Auntie Ann, Melissa, and Joey. This Magna Doodle is super cool. One of my favorite things is to guess what Mama is drawing on it. It's amazing how well I can guess when everyone else can't figure out what it is she's drawn. Maybe we can play when I come to visit. Miss you guys!

We would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and thank you for our wonderful presents. We haven't opened everything yet because we are savoring each and every new experience. We'll have some more pictures up here or on our Flickr site soon. Merry Christmas!!!!

My House Defies Newton

The first of Newton’s breakthrough laws of motion is “an object at rest tends to stay at rest; an object in motion tends to stay in motion.” It’s hard to imagine a time when that was breakthrough and even harder to imagine that I remembered that without looking on the internet (but I did for the most part, thank you 12^th grade physics).

Unfortunately, my house defies this law every single day. No, we don’t live in zero gravity; we live in zero sanity. I have tried to create a house where everything has a place, but on any given day objects move about seemingly on their own. I can’t imagine anything that could cause such chaos other than maybe a toddler. What else could create a scenario in which everything is tucked snuggly in drawers and cabinets one night and then within 24 hours, there’s a comb in the kitchen, a spoon in the bedroom, and a sock in the office. Well, that last one might be Luke, but still, those items do not belong in those places. I didn’t put them there. No rational person would leave their comb in the middle of the kitchen floor or move a baby potty to the center of the hallway where people need to walk. And yet, every day I fight the same battle with objects that seem to have been put in motion by some unseen force. At least I’ve learned to hide the objects that I need to find in a pinch, like keys, credit cards, makeup, and toothbrushes. I guess for the time being, everything else will be subject to unforeseen and unexpected motion.

Learning Lab

This child has become like a learning laboratory every minute. She doesn’t want you to hand her something; she wants you to hand her something and tell her its name. She doesn’t want to read a story; she wants to point to things in the book and tell you what they are. She doesn’t even want to eat; she wants to raise each piece of food in the air so that you can tell her it’s a bean or corn or whatever. She is supremely interested in everything around her. It’s kind of unbelievable how fast she learns things. Her favorite new words are octopus, your welcome, Julia (the little girl in her class), and yellow. Oh and did I mention that she sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star from start to finish. It’s craziness. Where did this little person come from? And where has my sweet baby gone?

School Update

Hailey is receiving rave reviews from her teacher, parents are stopping me in the halls to tell me how sweet she is, and she is eating and sleeping like a champ throughout the day. And yet, we have screaming and crying when I drop her off. The good news is that I can hear her stop crying by the time I reach the exterior doors now. It’s a step in the right direction. All in all, things are going about as I expected for the second week. Well, with one exception. Let me take a moment to tell you about Monday morning.

On Monday, all was fairly right with the world except that Luke was driving in separately (we normally carpool). So, I went to drop Hailey off by myself. No big deal except as I’m getting her out of the car, I inadvertently closed my thumb in the front door. Now, we’re not talking the tip of my thumb, like a normal person, but the area right below the knuckle. I’ve never done that before. Have you? I was so surprised that the door actually latched that I tried to pull my thumb out several times before it dawned on me to reach around and pull the handle. It must of have been really funny to watch. Anyway, the thumb is totally recovered now, but the whole scene was just ridiculous. There I was juggling a toddler and all of her crap in one hand and trying to open doors with a swollen, blue thumb in the other all the while trying not to lose it when Hailey started her screaming/crying routine. It was a bad scene, but I hope imagining how silly it looked gives you a chuckle. I’ll definitely be laughing about it for a long long time.

A Brief Interlude to Solicit Advice

I’m going to take a break from our Hailey School Saga (although it continues) to share with you a brief but amusing story from my own adventures. Yesterday, I decided that it would be a good day to try to get contacts. I’ve never worn contacts and hate having things near my eye so I can’t imagine why I thought this was a good idea. Picture me looking up at the optometrist approaching with this innocent little lens. Now picture the struggle that ensues as he starts prying my eye open to put it in. He keeps saying, “open both your eyes!” And, I would think to myself “they are open” only to realize that they were indeed clenched shut. This happened about 10 times before he finally got both lenses in. It was really an absurd scene. What kind of a moron can’t open her eyes I thought afterwards. Anyway, it was kind of like the Friends episode where Rachel has to put drops in her eyes.

So, the contacts are not at all as comfortable as I imagined. In fact, I found them totally irritating and itchy, but I’m determined to give it an honest try so I do not run home and take them out. On the contrary, one decided to fall out on it’s own (with maybe a little help from me rubbing my irritating and itchy eyes). At this point, I’m sitting on the floor playing with Hailey only to find this contact coming out of my eye ball. I swoop her up, run to the bathroom, and convince myself that I must immediately get the other lens out before I end up with migraines, eye infections, and other seemingly unlikely repercussions. Of course, as I’m fiddling with my eye in the mirror, Hailey decides that she should start sticking her finger in her eye. This, I thought, was a perfect time for her to go to bed. After putting her down a half an hour before her bedtime, I continued to struggle to get the lens out. It took about 10 minutes, which doesn’t sound like long; however, I was repeatedly poking myself in the eye during that time, which makes it seem much longer. Needless to say, I’m back to glasses today.

If you happen to be a successful contact wearer and have any words of advice, I’d certainly appreciate it. I have until Monday before I have to tell the eye doctor whether I’m going for glasses or contacts. You can imagine which way I’m leaning.

Hailey's Fourth Day Drop Off

I don't want to go to school today!

I'm really not feeling like smiling right now because I know you're leaving soon.

Fine, just this one smile, but then I'm going to scream again. Cheeeese!

A Rough Transition

Well, after her great success the first day at her new school, things have gotten a bit choppy. She’s definitely realized now that Mommy is going to leave her there, and she’s not really cool with that anymore. So, the past two mornings there has been much crying and gnashing of teeth at drop off time. Yesterday I got a report that she was “moody” all day. I saw a bit of that this morning when she was happy as a clam reading a book and then stood up and started crying for no reason at all. I finally caved and let her have her binky before handing her off to her teacher. I’m utterly depressed about the whole thing and missing her old daycare terribly. In my mind, I know that this is the right place for her to be, and it’s a great opportunity for her to get into a private school. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier at drop off time. At this point, I’m trying to will both of us to just make it through the week.

Working Already

When I went to pick Hailey up at school, she was being escorted around on a little truck by another little girl. She quickly relinquished her queeny position, dismissed her minions, and ran over to see me. I picked her up for only a few seconds before she started saying "down, down, down." She immediately went over to what was her favorite toy...a vacuum (she's clearly not my real daughter). It was several minutes before I could pull her away to go home. All in all, a successful first day!

First Day of New School

Today is Hailey’s first day at her new school. I’m very excited for her to meet new friends, but am also nervous, as any Mommy would be. She’s clearly the most advanced one in the class, and I swear I’m not being biased. She can eat by herself, say please/thank you, drink milk from a cup. These are all things that the teacher was astonished by, but I thought, “Hello! She’s 16 months old.” Then, I was telling other people at work about it, and they were astonished too. Is she that advanced?

I’m only bragging now because yesterday I was getting a bit nervous. Hailey was running around in socks and fell face first into the wooden leg of the chair. Ouch! She had a huge bruise under her eye. I mean, is that not just our luck? Her first day of school, and she has a black eye! Oh well. She recovered rather quickly, and I don’t think that anyone at school was really concerned, particularly because the bruise turned out to be tiny. Here’s a picture of the bruise from last night. I’ll try to take some more pictures when we go to pick her up. Hopefully, there won’t be any tears. There weren’t any when we dropped her off, by the way. She's such a star!

Mmmmm Dirt

When I was in Buffalo a few weekends ago, I read this great article in Newsweek about the increase in food allergies among young children. It’s a topic that I’ve been wondering about ever since our pediatrician gave us a long list of foods that I was not allowed to give to my child for fear that she might develop some type of allergy. I thought that it was a rather counter-intuitive approach because it seems to me that you should introduce foods earlier so that children get more used to different food. Then again, who am I to argue with modern science? So, I became a food vigilante, monitoring her every bite (well, not quite, but close).

Turns out, that this “introduce foods later” theory is not the only one out there. In fact, there’s some debate about whether that’s a more or less effective strategy. In addition, there are two competing theories for why food allergies have soared recently: 1) an increase in c-sections leads to fewer children being doused with the fluids from the birth canal (which have all kinds of crazy properties that we don’t understand), thus more immune system problems; and 2) we are too damn clean! I’m not going to touch that first theory, although I have lots of other reasons for loathing the current nonchalance by which women have c-sections these days. But, that’s a blog for another day. Besides, the scientists are pretty sure that the second reason (the cleanliness one) is more likely the culprit.

It makes perfect sense really. We deprive our children of every bacteria, of every germ, of every speck of dirt, and they don’t get a chance to really build up a solid immune system. So, their little immune cells (I’m sure that’s the technical word for it) start attacking “good” things like food. Kids in foreign countries and those who grow up on farms don’t have nearly as many food allergies as kids who grow up in our ultra-sanitized suburban homes. If you think about it, you might also realize that your friends and family who are the most clean are also usually the sickest. Ok. So, that’s a little anecdotal and not exactly up to my usual scientific rigor, but it’s true none the less. All of this is really just to give a big hooray for all of the Moms out there who, like me, say “well, a little dirt never killed anyone.”

Christmas Miracle

Craig’s List is just the greatest creation on Earth! I’ve been quietly searching around for a pre-lit artificial tree for this Christmas season, since real trees can be over $100. Little did I know that fake trees are a minimum of $250, and a good one can be upwards of $600. Who has that kind of money around the holidays? Certainly not someone who just came back from Italy! So, off to Craig’s List I went looking for a tree. I ended up finding a listing for a couple who was moving. They had many items for sale including a 9.5 foot pre-lit Christmas tree. It’s very “real” looking and fits our room perfectly. Total cost = $75. Now that’s what I call a Christmas miracle.

PS: I'm creating an Amazon wishlist for Hailey to make everyone's life easier, but it's not ready yet. I'll let you know.

Multi-Tasking

Killing Two Birds with One Tennis Ball

We all know that Josie, our loving border collie, has a bit of OCD about tennis balls. Turns out, Hailey really likes them too. This morning Josie was running around the house with a tennis ball until Hailey started chasing her and saying “doggy, ball” over and over again. I quickly told Josie to drop the ball and gave it to Hailey to let her throw it. Hmmm…entertain both of them without getting my own hand all slobbery from the ball. What a bonus! Unfortunately, my evil plan backfired when Hailey decided that she’d rather just run around with the ball. Being the good herder that she is, Josie trapped Hailey in the closet with no where to escape. Finally, Hailey surrendered and threw the ball. Two seconds later, Josie was delivering the ball back to Hailey’s feet. And so it began. It was at least 10 minutes of this back and forth before Hailey looked up at me with this look of confusion. It was if she was saying, “Seriously, this dog is crazy!” My sentiments exactly!

Bed Time

Hailey goes to bed at 7pm without a peep and sleeps until 7am. Ok. That’s what I used to tell people, and it was the honest truth. She was great about going to sleep; just hand her a blanky and binky, and she was out. All of a sudden, a few days ago with no warning, our fool proof system was suddenly shattered. I put Hailey down at 7pm, but it was almost an hour and two Mommy interventions later before she went to sleep. After several nights of different strategies, I finally just decided to just let her stay up until 8pm. She didn’t really seem sleepy at 7, so I figured we might be making a shift. Sure enough, at 8, she went down without a peep. I’m not sure if this is a permanent schedule change, but it’s nice to be able to spend an extra hour with her. Maybe she just wants a little extra Mommy and Daddy time. We’ll see.

Follow-up to Very Scary Christmas

I thought that I would provide a follow-up based on some research I've been doing about this whole chemical issue with children's products and toys. So, I present to you this list of companies whose products are less likely to injure, maim, or kill our children...

Playmobil – Given a green rating in a recent Green Peace study that rated the toy companies in terms of hazardous chemicals. Companies receiving a red (or bad) rating… Fisher Price, Playskool, and Vtech. For more information on that study, you look at the report.

Green Toys – This company uses plastics made out of corn. That’s pretty cool, but their product range is extremely limited.

Haba – Toys from Germany made from wood not plastics.

Healthy Child, Healthy World – This organization (which I’m sure I will be joining) helps to protect children from harmful environmental exposures. Also, includes a scary news report about some plastic that’s supposedly in all of the plastic bottles that we allow our children to drink from.

The bottom line is that Hailey is almost past the age where I would have to be hyper-vigilant about the chemicals in plastics because she's less likely to stick everything directly into her mouth. So, whatever damage there is from sucking on plastics, she's probably already suffered. However, I would like to get her some new stainless steel cutlery so that she’s not using plastic forks and spoons all the time. I’d also like to get her some non-plastic bowls, but I can’t seem to figure out what I can get that won’t break when she drops it on the floor. I guess I could start whittling her some out of bamboo, but in the meantime any suggestions would be appreciated.

New School

Well, Luke and I went to look at a new school yesterday and decided to enroll Hailey on the spot. They had only one space in her age group, and we snatched it up immediately. The school is about 6 blocks from my office and currently has care for infants up through 4 year olds. However, next year they are opening classes up to 2^nd grade. I’m really excited to put her in this type of structured environment where she can grow and advance through the classes. Plus, she’ll be with children who are all in her age group, which will be nice. I really don’t know whether or not this will help with her “no” problem or her general bratty attitude, but it doesn’t really matter. This is clearly the best place for her to be, and I’m thrilled that we were able to grab that spot for her. She starts December 3^rd so I will let you know how it goes!

PS: If you want a good laugh, take a look at Nikki's blog from today. If you want a daily devotional, read Katie's blog. There are links to it on the right. See, I'm cross-promoting.

Have a Very Scary Christmas

If you have 3-4 free hours on your hands, I have a challenge for you. Go to your local toy retailer (I wouldn't recommend Walmart for this one), take a stroll through the toy aisles, and find 10 toys that aren't made in China. I tried it tonight at Target. I was purchasing some toys for the child that we are sponsoring and thought that I might pick Hailey up some PlayDoh as a stocking stuffer. Grabbed the generic brand...Made in China. Found the real PlayDoh, Made in China. Found the toys for our sponsored child...Made in China. Started randomly picking up toys on all of the aisles and every single one was Made in China. People must have thought that I was crazy, but I was shocked!

Lucky for us, Hailey hasn't had any of the toys that have been recalled, but I still thought that it would be nice if we could limit our exposure to toys made in China just to be safe. HA! Hailey would never have another toy in her life if that were our plan.

At first I thought, maybe the recalls are reassuring because when you see the amount of toys that are out there from China, then you realize that relatively few have been recalled. If only we could assume that our efficient government was actually doing a good job of testing them.

So, in light of all this, I have a business proposal for you. Let's start a toy company where we make the toys from green materials, AND we make them in the good ole USA. Brilliant!!!

Easily Amused

Hailey is a mature 1 year old now, so you might think that she is getting very sophisticated in her taste for expensive, complicated toys. Nope, not at all. Hailey’s favorite toy is an empty bottle with a screw on top. Could be a 20oz Coke bottle, could be a small shampoo bottle, doesn’t really matter. If it has a lid, she wants to play with it. I can’t tell you the number of times that we handed her an empty Coke bottle in Italy and bought ourselves many more minutes of grown up time in a museum, during a tour, etc.

Here are a few pictures of her playing with an empty bottle this morning. She wouldn’t give it up, so we made it all the way to daycare before I could pry it out of her hands. That’s why I am making a call for any strangely sized or shaped plastic bottles with tops that you might have lying around your house. If you have time, please rinse them out and send them to us. I’m going to wrap them in a box and give them to her for Christmas. Seems like an appropriate gift.

Other things that Hailey enjoys: musical instruments (triangles, tambourines, maracas, cymbals…no drum sets, please), books (the cardboard kind are the best), anything she can push or pull around, winter PJs (18 months), pants or long sleeve onsies (18 months), etc. Just remember that she doesn’t need much; she’s happy with Tupperware and wooden spoons. There are other kids out there that need much more. So, if you feel like you want to buy lots of stuff, then please consider sponsoring a child through Salvation Army, the YW, etc. That's what we are doing this year. Or, you could give to Hailey's college fund.

Post-Vacation Blues

There’s something about that week after a long vacation that’s difficult to deal with. It goes a little beyond just the back-to-work blues. I think it’s the sense of possibility that you develop on vacation being slowly squashed by the mundane din of your everyday life. Oh, I’ve got it bad! It’s true though. Vacation makes you realize that there is so much more to the world beyond what’s right outside your door. It also helps us to understand just how adaptable we really are (even while toting around a toddler). We came back from vacation thinking, we could move to Italy, Germany, Canada, etc. We could travel around the world! Then, just as we were about to begin dreaming about all of the adventures we’ll have during the rest of our lives, we realized that we first need to finish 25 loads of laundry, make dinner, clean up the house, bathe the baby, and collapse into bed at 10:30. Not that I don’t love my everyday life. It’s just a contrast to the possibilities and excitement set out before you on every vacation day!

Ok. Enough of my whining. Let’s get back to reality. To try to capture a little of that excitement, I’ve decided to start my own little freelance writing adventure. I’m going to start offering my writing and research services on the open market or at least to friends and past colleagues that might need it. I know that the holidays are a terrible time to start something new, but I just want to feel a little more professionally fulfilled. I’m hoping that this will give me a chance to exercise my creativity a little bit more.

I know. I know. You’re probably asking, “Where are the Italy pictures?????” The answer is they’re still on Luke’s computer. There are hundreds and hundreds to go through, retouch, post, etc. We’re working on it. How about as a compromise, I’ll give you these two naked Hailey baby pictures? That’s should keep you quiet for a while.

Be Happy, Buy This

We’re home safely from Italy. We had an absolutely wonderful visit, but I’m still digesting all of the great memories. In the next day or so, once I get some pictures, I’ll post some of the highlights. In the meantime, here are my thoughts on things in the US that don’t seem so normal anymore:

1. Why are all the cars so damn big here?
2. What?!?!No vino with lunch?
3. Cappucino, per favore.No, I don’t need a grande.Just a teeny tiny cup with some super strong coffee and frothy milk.Geez.
4. American people, you need to drive in the right lane, and move over to the left lane only when passing. Ok, so that doesn’t work as well in gridlock.
5. Only one course for dinner??!?!? Are you kidding me? We prefer 3 courses spanning 3-4 hours and followed by tiramisu and cappuccino.
6. TV…oh how I didn’t miss you. I’d trade you any day for a beautiful mountain view.

Can I just point out one more thing that really struck me when we came home and actually turned on the TV (to watch football, of course)? What struck me was how deeply we are engrossed in the consumer culture of the US that we don’t even see how absurd the commercials are anymore. For example, there were tons of commercials that follow this premise… “if you want your family to be happy and to love each other, then buy them a [fill in the blank - minivan, flat screen TV, hamburger helper meal].” Does anyone ever stop to think how absolutely ridiculous this premise is???? People in other countries don’t have minivans, hamburger helper, flat screen TVs or even microwaves (in some cases), and you know what, I could make a strong case that they are every bit as happy, if not happier than we are. Just ridiculous. Maybe instead of buying more and more crap, we should consider spending time with our families, feeding them healthy meals, and maybe, just maybe, turning off that flat screen TV so that we can play an invigorating game of drinking, speed Scrabble.

Aren’t you glad to have me and my rants back?!?!?

What could be better?

What could be better than spending 12 hours traveling with a toddler? Spending 12 hours traveling with a sick toddler, of course!!!! Yes, yesterday Hailey came down with a bit of a cold. She’s in relatively good spirits, but she’s got snot and nastiness coming out of her face. The doctor gave her some prescription decongestant which I have reluctantly agreed to give her. Hopefully, she’ll feel a little better by tomorrow and/or the decongestant will knock her out on the plane. Let’s hope for the best!

I don’t know if/how much I will be able to write from Italy. I’ll try to post something (maybe even a picture) at least once. Otherwise, I’m sure there will be plenty to tell when we return. Have a great few weeks!

The Hailey Dictionary

In preparation for our upcoming trip to Italy, my Dad and I have been learning Italian. Well, he’s learning Italian; I’m listening to some undecipherable language courses on CD whenever I have a chance. I would hardly call that learning Italian, particularly since I haven’t made it past the first CD.

Anyway, he was kind enough to write up a summary of all of the most important phrases, including “for God’s sake.” Not sure how that one made the list, but I digress. It’s been a while since any of Hailey’s grandparents have spent a significant amount of time with her. Her pronunciation of words is well, let’s just say, toddleresque (go figure). So, I thought that I’d put together my own dictionary of Hailey speak just to help them out on the trip. Here goes:

Ank uh – Thank you.

At – Hat. This word is usually followed by some attempt to put the hat on herself.

Ba – That’s ball. She can find a ball in almost any situation. You’d be amazed.

Baf – Bath

Boop – Book, one of her favorite things in the world thanks to Mommy’s great genetics

Bubba – Bubble

Cat – She’s pretty right on with cat.

Cup – Don’t get confused with up. There’s a clear difference.

Dada – You’d think this would be obvious, but might be Dada; might be doggy; might be Mama.

Doggy – Usually that’s decipherable and involves pointing at something resembling a dog (not always actually a dog).

Dow – Down. You’ll know because there will be squirming.

Gases – Glasses. Usually followed by an attempt to pull the glasses off of your face, subsequently poking you in the eye.

Gabba – A goofy show called Gabba Gabba on TV that Luke watches with her. Now, she points to remotes and says Gabba.

Goo Goo – That’s good girl, usually said to a dog

I waaa uuuhh – I love you. We’re working on that one.

Mama – Again, could be tricky. Might be Mama; might be Dada; might be a random stranger.

Mao – Nope, not the Chinese dictator, that’s mouth. Might also sound like Maof

Milk – There’s no denying that one. She’s right on when it comes to food.

No – Ok. This is a tricky one, and you’ll hear it a lot. Might mean no, might mean yes, might mean nose if accompanied by pointing at her nose.

Peace – That’s please; she’s not a flower child.

Teef – Teeth, that’s an easy one.

Tsao – Ciao! Her only Italian word!

Up – Needs to be preceded or followed by please and not include whining in order for you to actually pick her up.

Well, that’s all I’ve got. She probably says more stuff, but this should get you through your week with her. May the force be with us all!

Is it too late to be French?

I hate the state of day care in America. Hate it!!! In France, they have publically funded daycare centers and nurseries where workers are trained and valued. What do we have here in the greatest country on Earth? A mess of independent companies offering inconsistent care, paying their uneducated workers as little as possible, and charging families exorbitant amounts for their “service.” Is that really the best that we can do for our children? It’s immensely frustrating for a mother who wants to work, wants to provide for her family, and wants to leave her child in a safe, healthy environment.

Daycare is undoubtedly the reason that Hailey has a “no” problem. The daycare provider’s daughter is 3 and is going through her “no” phase. Hailey is simply mimicking her behavior. That aside, I have a pretty good daycare situation right now, but the ongoing negative influence is causing me to look around at other alternatives. Here are my alternatives right now:

1) Put her on any number of waiting lists for daycare centers across the city. The waiting lists range from several months to years. The daycare centers are not as convenient to either home or work as the place that we are going to now, and she would be around more kids, increasing the likelihood that she’s going to be sick all the time.

2) Try to enroll her in some type of preschool beginning in 2008. By the way, these preschools conveniently only offer classes for four hours at a time, usually 9:00-1:00. Some cost more than I’m paying now for full time care, and some require that I take off from work to go work at the school for 12 days a year.

3) Umm yeah, that’s all of the choices.

You might say, “why didn’t you get on some waiting lists when you moved to Atlanta?” Good question!!! I actually did, but the waiting lists for daycares are similar to the waiting list to get the roof rack for my car (don’t get me started on that), sometimes they are “misplaced,” sometimes you aren’t added, sometimes they get thrown away when they get too long, sometimes they don’t exist, and sometimes they won’t add you because they’re too long to begin with. It’s not a rock solid system that we’re talking about.

So, I’ve found one daycare, which is not particularly convenient, but that may have space available in the near future. I’m going to look at it tomorrow. Grumble, grumble.

P.S. We leave for Italy on Friday! More on that later...

Linguistically Challenged

I think that this has been a difficult few months for Hailey. She's getting teeth constantly, she's had a cold, oh and she can't speak! I'm starting to think that the latter is the most difficult for her to handle. I can't imagine what it would be like to know what I wanted but to not be able to tell anyone. I guess that I'll understand that feeling a little better when I try to communicate in Italy using only my 3 Italian phrases.

Anyway, you can almost sense that she wants so desperately to tell me what she wants but can't find the words. I'm not sure what tipped me off to her frustration, maybe its the constant whining and pointing. When we help her by giving her words to repeat, she gets so excited. She loves saying the right thing and being understood. She just rarely knows what the right thing is.

Let This Be a Lesson

Hailey’s Great Aunt Ann was kind enough to send us some of those new little markers that they are advertising for toddlers. As soon as they arrived, Luke opened them and handed them over to our little monster. Within seconds, she was enjoying the thrill of coloring on everything other than the paper that we supplied for her. Yes, her hands, her face, her high chair tray, Mommy’s clothes, nothing is off limits for a toddler with a marker. That is why I think that Mattel, Fisher Price, and all of the other toy manufacturers out there have some sadistic plot to create a generation of crazy parents. Hello, toy company executives, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that markers and toddlers are probably not a good mix. We’ll stick with the washable crayons, thank you very much! Here is the aftermath of the marker debacle. Needless to say, Hailey had a wonderful time with them, and the ink was easily washable. Still, I think that we may wait until she’s closer to 18 months (the recommended age) to try them again since this adventure ended with marker in her mouth!

PS: More pictures available on Flickr.

A Battle of Wills

I’m sure that you are already familiar with Hailey’s ongoing “no” problem. Well, it’s not just that she says no to everything. Now, she completely refuses to say “yes” or any form thereof (yup, yeah, etc). I’ve enlisted the help of the daycare lady, Hailey’s friends, Luke, random people on the playground, etc. It doesn’t matter. No matter how hard we try, the child will not say yes. Maybe she’ll nod her head if you have something that she really wants, but that’s as much as she’ll give. She probably thinks that it’s ridiculous when Luke and I sit at the dinner table and make up questions to pose to each other for which we must respond “YES” along with a fervent head nod. Even I think that’s hysterical, but we have to model good behavior until she figures it out. In the meantime, I guess we’ll have to suffer through more of the “no” phase.

Home Sick

I'm a go go go type of person. I love to be busy, get things done, have checklists, be productive, etc. Type A anyone? However, when I went into Hailey's room this morning and realized that she had a fever, I knew that I was go go going nowhere. Well, that's not exactly how it happened. When I picked her up out of her crib, I immediately knew that she had a low fever, but she's also getting some molars. About a second after I connected the dots between molars and fever in my head, she threw up all over me. Ok. Game over. Change from work clothes to Mommy clothes and buckle down for a day of snuggling and comforting.

This is really one of the first times that I've ever had to stay home with her. Don't ask me how we've managed to avoid this up until now, but we have. It's very strange to have a free day without work. I feel torn between 100% dedication to caring for my sick child (who is sleeping by the way) and that nagging load of laundry that I've been meaning to do! That is why I take great pleasure in the fact that I was able to sit still and rub her back for 30 minutes while she went to sleep. It takes an uncharacteristic amount of patience to do that. Maybe I'm growing as a Mommy and as a person. Ok, I have limited time until she wakes up so I'm off to tackle that laundry!

Oh, and Hailey is going to be fine. Her fever has gone down, and I'm going to try giving her some oatmeal when she wakes up. Hopefully, it was just a little bug.

Powdered Milk

Those of you who have known me for a while have probably heard about my disturbing childhood trauma involving powdered milk. If you haven’t already heard it, let me share it briefly now.

Like most people, I have very few memories from early childhood. About ten years ago when I was in college (oh my…was it that long ago!??!?), I had a flashback to a vivid memory of my parents forcing me to drink powdered milk. My parents swear that the reason for their deceit was simply that I could not digest regular milk. Still, I’m traumatized by the memory, and I take every possible opportunity to remind them of their total failure as parents, which is clearly illustrated by their feeding me powdered milk. I don’t know what made these memories haunt me in college, but I’ve vowed many times that I would never force my children to drink powdered milk. See, these are the vows that you should not make until you become a parent!

Fast forward to Hailey’s first birthday a few months ago. She has a little tummy problem and starts having diarrhea when she drinks regular whole milk. The doctor tells me to give her a few weeks on the Lactaid and then switch her back to regular milk. I gave her almost a month on the Lactaid, but when I tried to switch her gradually back to regular milk a few weeks ago, she started having the diarrhea again. So, I’ve retreated back to the Lactaid. Could it be that my child inherited what I thought was my fictional lactose issue that my parents swear warranted powdered milk?

I’m not sure what the answer is yet, but I have to admit that I found myself wandering around the grocery store Sunday looking for powdered milk for Hailey. Lucky for her, I didn’t find it, but I think that it may be coming in her near future. I just think that it’s probably safer to travel to Italy with powdered milk than to trust that they will have something for her intolleranza al lattosio (lactose intolerant) belly.

What Will Hailey Be?

Hailey is very clearly becoming her own person. She has her own ideas of what she wants to do, where she wants to go, and how she wants to get there. In honor of her newly found independence, I thought that I would take a few minutes to share with you some thoughts on what Hailey might be when she grows up based on what she loves right now. Here's what I've come up with so far:

The child loves shoes - loves putting them on, loves taking them off, loves walking around in them. So, option #1 is a shoe designer.

Based on her love of books and reading, I would say that it's highly likely that she could be a writer or perhaps one of those people that just continues to go to school forever. Wait, wasn't that what I was going to be before I met Luke?
Option #3 (one of my favorites) is the owner of a spa, complete with different types of baths and multiple facial treatments to keep her mother looking young.

Finally, as a worst case scenario, she might be one of those people that cleans out the port-a-potties. Sorry, babe, but that is your potty seat on your head.

Just FYI, we're not trying to potty train her yet, but she picked out this potty seat at the store so we decided to let her get used to sitting on it. It's immediately become one of her favorite "toys." Enjoy the rest of our picture set on the Flickr account.

The "No" Phase

As if the "toddling" around the house on two legs wasn't enough of a sign that Hailey has hit her toddler years, we’ve gotten one more clue this week with the onset of The "No" Phase. It’s unfortunate but true. My little angel now responds to every question, suggestion, or inference with a solid “no.” Well, sometimes it’s a solid “no,” sometimes it’s a whiny “nnnnnooooo,” and sometimes it’s a noncommittal “na.” What happened to my sweet child?

Of course, my reaction to this new development was to immediately ask the parenting experts (through Google, of course). A few minutes of research later, I’d come up with the following strategies to handle The “No” Phase.

1) Don't use "no" ourselves except in cases of emergency. Instead, say "uh uh" or "not right now" or better yet, give a rationale for why it's not appropriate or what she can do to be more appropriate. For example, say, "It hurts Mama when you hit her. Please be gentle with Mama like this"

2) Use humor to get a real answer and lighten the mood.

3) Help her understand the consequences of "no" when she really means "yes." This might involve saying "No, you don't want milk? Ok. Well, I'll put it right here and if you want it, you can say Milk please or yes when I ask you."

4) Don't make a big deal out of a "no" from her.

5) Offer her choices instead of a "yes/no" option. For example, "would you like a banana or oatmeal?" "Would you like to wear the pink pants or the brown pants?"

6) Distract her when doing things that she considers unpleasant such as getting dressed, having a diaper change, getting buckled into the car seat.

7) Let her do things on her own time frame. For example, "Do you want to eat breakfast?" "No" "Do you want to eat breakfast in 5 minutes?" "No" "Ok, well, you tell me when you are ready to eat breakfast, and I'll put you in your chair."

8) Keep a schedule! Be sure that she is getting regular meals and naps because it's much worse when she's tired or hungry.

9) Overexagerate the positives with praise, if she ever replies affirmatively.

If these don’t work, then I will have to resign myself to the fact that my child is simply a brat and that it is most likely my fault for ruining her forever. To avoid this dreadful fate, please submit any suggestions you have for helping us cope with Hailey’s new found negativity.

Huh?

Hailey has gotten into the bad habit of saying, "Huh?" after everything that we say to her. It's not that she doesn't hear us. It's just that she feels the need to say "huh?" I don't know where she picked this little game up, but at this point, there's nothing that we can say or do to make her stop. What if she doesn't grow out of it, and I have to repeat everything I say for the rest of my life? I try not to repeat, but then she won't answer. Yikes. She's only a year old and we're already having communication problems!

Here are few pictures that I snapped last night and this morning. She's starting to look like a little person now, and she's quite adorable in her little fall clothes.

A Second Cranky Thought

What I love more than anything is when I call to get “technical support” for an online application and find myself talking to someone my Grandmother’s age. Nothing against my Grandmother who is the sweetest lady that you’ll ever meet, but I don’t call her when I have a computer problem. Talking to this woman on the phone right now is probably worse than talking to someone who doesn’t speak English because she says things like, “Now, can you just erase all of the numbers out of the fields and type them in again?” Seriously, you want me to erase the 2 dates that I typed in and retype them even though they are completely correct because you think that somehow the computer is going to recognize them the second time around???? Then she says, “Maybe you could write the numbers down so that I can close out of it.” Lady, I don’t need to write the numbers down! We were talking about 2 completely fictional dates for my retirement. I could pick any random date and get the same error code. It’s pretty ridiculous. If you are a "technical support" manager, and you hire people who are running Apple IIc's and playing with Intelevision at home, you've got problems.

Random Cranky Mumblings

Let me start this blog by saying that I don’t feel good, which is pretty rare for me. Hailey has a chest cold and has been coughing for two weeks. Over the weekend, I broke down and gave her some Triaminic strips. Suddenly, she’s cured and I have a chest cold. Wonderful. Oh, but let me point out that giving children medicine in dissolvable strip form is about the best idea that anyone has ever come up with. In fact, I’d put it in my top 10 child rearing inventions ever.

Anyway, all that to say that I’m in a very cranky mood. Luke, however, should be in a very good mood because he’s been offered a position teaching on Monday nights at the Portfolio Center in Atlanta. I think that he’s pretty excited about it, and I’m pretty excited for him. And yet, it brings back mixed feelings for me as I know that I will probably never have the opportunity to teach. I could have finished my PhD, but I didn’t. It was a path not chosen, and I don’t look back on that choice often. But every once in a while, when I’m sick and cranky and in a crappy mood, I reflect on the doors that I’ve closed. Not that I couldn’t some day go back, but I can’t even imagine that right now. Couple that with the fact that I’ve been looking around for a topical blog to write on a regular basis. Unfortunately, all of the sponsored blog sites want bloggers who are “experts.” I’m not an expert at anything. I’m not even a semi-expert at anything, and so, I’ll keep up this blog for you but won’t be writing for the masses any time soon. Wish me better health and a better attitude in the future.

A Ball and a Seal

We had quite an eventful holiday weekend here in Atlanta. Grandma Scott was here because she is babysitting this week while daycare is closed. So, we spent the weekend doing “touristy” things like visiting the Botanical Gardens and the Georgia Aquarium. It was pretty fun. The Botanical Gardens has a great children’s area and Hailey had a very fun time climbing on stuff, falling in dirt and partaking in other such toddler activities. The best part about the weekend was realizing what does and doesn’t entertain her. For example, slide and jungle gym – not at all entertaining…stairs going down to the play area – big fun! Giant seals at the aquarium – no…red ball floating in the seal tank – highly entertaining! Watching beluga whales swim around – no…running the wrong way through the exhibits – lots of fun! Here we are taking Hailey all over the city to entertain her, and she’s entertained by the smallest things. It’s really quite amusing and should teach us all to appreciate everything around us from the mundane to the extraordinary!

One other funny note: I gave Hailey an old purse to play with. Her new favorite game is to walk around with it on her shoulder, but it's too heavy so she has to keep her hand on her head as she walks around. It's hysterical. I'll try to get a picture!

The Barter System

No one ever told me that I would have to learn a new currency system when I had a toddler, but so it is. Toddlers, as you may know, have their own special sense of “mine,” whether or not they can actually say the word. Once Hailey gets her little fingers around an item of “value,” she evokes her super-powered death grip, and it’s nearly impossible to get it away from her. Unless, that is, you can offer to trade her for an item of even greater value. I’ve been honing my bargaining skills with her for the past few weeks. Just to give you an example, yesterday morning, she was running around the house with a pen. I decided that maybe that’s not such a good idea so I tried to trade her for a spoon. Ha, ha, clearly not good enough. Let’s try again, but this time with a hair brush…bingo!!! A hairbrush apparently has a greater value than a pen. So, Hailey held out the pen to me and then quietly placed it on the ground in front of her as if she were dropping a deadly weapon. Then, she promptly snatched up the hairbrush with her death grip.

Now, as with any currency, there are some items that have the highest of all values. Let’s call them the diamonds of the toddler world. What items are those? Keys (only Mommy’s keys that she uses, not any plastic or other substitute), cell phones (only if it’s on and functioning), and remote controls (only the ones that actually control the electronics, and they must have batteries). That is what I’ve learned of the toddler barter system so far. If anyone else has any high value items that I might use in my future negotiations, please let me know.

Our New Favorite Food

I love summer corn so I buy it every week at the farmer's market. For weeks, I've been cutting off the kernels for Hailey until one day it dawned on me that she can eat it just like we can. Now, it's her favorite food, as you can see...



Also, notice the kisses she blows to you in the middle. What a good little monkey!

Holiday Blues

Around this time each year, panic begins to well up from deep down inside. That’s because it’s about time to start making holiday plans, and I absolutely hate it. If you know me at all, you’ll know that there are two things that I dislike more than anything in the world: 1) conflict and 2) disappointing people I love. Planning for the holidays has the potential to create both. Thus, I hate it.

With four grandparents living in four different states, there’s no way to make everyone happy and that causes me GREAT anxiety. Originally, we said that we would just rotate from year to year, but that’s probably not a realistic plan for a number of reasons. For example, last year we stayed home for Christmas which means that this year we should travel, but that’s difficult because I’m taking almost all of my vacation to go to Italy. The whole traveling to different places each year is also complicated by the three important facts: 1) I hate the idea of dragging Hailey through an airport during the holiday rush; 2) I want to start creating our own family traditions in our own house; and 3) I have a great fear of being stuck in the airport over the holidays. Still, I would put all of this behind me if I could make everyone happy, but I can’t! So, what are we to do?

The Parrot

Every parent probably has that moment when you say something in front of your child and immediately feel sheer panic as you imagine your lovely child repeating your dirty word or phrase over and over again. I've been particularly careful lately because Hailey has gone into repeat mode. The other day on the way to the doctor I said, "Hailey, did you make Mama a poopie?" Of course, she started saying poopie, poopie, poopie as we walked into the doctor's office (as if people couldn't smell it already!). So, I'm very conscious that she is a human parrot.

Well, this evening, I was cutting a jalepeno and accidentally transfered some of the hot stuff from my hand to my mouth when I licked my fingers like a complete idiot. I said a few unsavory words as my mouth was burning up. Then, I turned to look at my innocent little child sitting in her highchair looking at me. Thank goodness she was too busy eating to notice my indiscretion. Still, it's a scary thought to consider what might have happened. Honestly, I'm not much of a swearer, but there are some people out there that just have potty mouths. I guess their kids are the ones getting kicked out of daycare for saying dirty words. That's a sad thought.

Oh, on another note, I just looked up how to spell poopie because it's just not a word that I use every day (unless I'm writing a blog). Turns out you can spell it poopie or poopy...who knew??!?!?

The Walking Terror

Whenever I tell someone that Hailey is a year old, the next question is always, “Is she walking yet?” As I beam with maternal pride, I love to tell friends, family, and mere acquaintances that she actually started walking about a week before her first birthday. Here’s where the response that I get back differs depending on who I’m talking to. People that haven’t had kids or who had toddlers many years ago always respond very positively. People who have recently experienced the toddler years unanimously provide one answer: “I’m sorry.”

I used to wonder what their problem was. In general, she’s been no more trouble now than she was before she was walking. She can’t reach anything walking that she couldn’t already reach standing; so, she doesn’t get into any more stuff than usual at home. She was a pretty quick crawler; so, she’s not much faster walking (yet).

Unfortunately, this weekend I realized the fundamental difference between a crawling baby and a walking baby, and I learned it the hard way. You see, now that Hailey walks, no mode of transportation will suffice except walking. Alas, being pushed in a stroller or shopping cart is no longer cool with her. Nope. It’s all about the walking now. At home it’s not that big a deal, but when we’re shopping it’s next to impossible. I spent most of the weekend chasing her around various stores making sure that she didn’t start throwing glassware up and down the aisles. It was challenging to say the least. Luckily, I’m not a big shopper, but this means no more grocery shopping, no more Target shopping, and no more farmer’s market with Mommy. Daddy is going to have to keep her entertained at home. Either that, or I’m going to have to become one of those parents that I always scoffed at and put my baby on a leash!

This Blog Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Hailey has her first case of severe diaper rash. Actually, it's her first case of diaper rash ever. It started on Friday when she inexplicably started having diarrhea. It was terrible. So, pop quiz...what's the best cure for diaper rash? Ding, ding, ding. It's not wearing a diaper! I bet that you can already picture how I spent my weekend. There's nothing that proves a mother's love more than cleaning up her child's urine (and other stuff) off of the hardwood floors over and over and over again all weekend long. What joyous fun! I think that we have the diarrhea under control now thanks to my aggressive BRAT diet (that's Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast for those of you that haven't done this in a while). Hailey will be lucky if she can ever poop again!

PS: The picture is in black and white because we went to see the Annie Leibovitz collection at the High Museum today.

Wishes for Hailey on Her First Birthday

I've thought about what I would write for Hailey's first birthday for many months now. There's really no way to express my love for her or to detail how that love grows every day. There's also no way to sum up the first year of her life in any way that would adequately capture all of the giggles, smiles, kisses, tears, and fun that we've shared. So, I decided to just write down my hopes for her in the best way I know how - a bulleted list!

• I hope that you grow up to be a strong, independent, intelligent woman;
• I hope that you always appreciate all of your personal strengths and have the courage to work on your weaknesses;
• I hope that you never look in the mirror and wish that someone different would look back at you;
• I hope that you remember that no matter how far away your family is, they will always love you and support you;
• I hope that you someday appreciate how many hearts you've captured in just 1 year;
• I hope that your life is enriched by many friendships;
• I hope that you meet a man as wonderful, talented, and helpful as your father;
• I hope that you are blessed with all of the joys that life has to offer and that you are able to learn from all of its sorrows;
• I hope that you figure out what your talents are and use them for the good of those around you;
• I hope that you always know how much your mother loves you.

Of course, I'm sure that I've had many more hopes for you over the past year, but I thought that I'd write down a few now. If anyone else has any wishes for Hailey, please put them in the comments.