Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Timeline of the Tantrum

For some reason, everything is a battle these days. Little Miss Independence does not like to do anything when she is told to. It's very frustrating. The middle of the tantrum is by far the worst part because my stubbornness starts to wear off and I start thinking that maybe I should give in. Still, when you suffer through a tantrum and come out on the other side, it's a little bit invigorating because you know that you are both better for having played your respective roles. Without further ado, here is the basic timeline that applies to virtually every tantrum...

Time

Hailey Behavior

Mommy Thoughts

:10

Stubbornly refuses to do something she’s been asked to do

What is the problem? You do this every day. Why is it an issue all of a sudden?

:30

Continues to refuse with a pouty face now

Ok. Let’s lighten the mood. Perhaps a distraction or two will be enough.

:45

Head down on the floor and/or commence with the crying

Are you kidding me? Do we really have to do this right now?

1:00

Screaming persists and/or elevates

Fine. We have two choices now: 1) I will ignore you or 2) You will sit in timeout. Maybe we need both!

1:15

Possible flailing about or just a continuation of screaming

I feel like screaming now to. This is not the end of the world. Why are you making this so difficult?!?!?

1:30

Possible shrieking interspersed with some calls for Mommy

You brought this on yourself, and I will not be bullied by your bad attitude. I guarantee that I’m more stubborn than you are.

2:00

Keeps it coming

All you have to do is what I asked you to do and life would be much easier. AHHHH…My ears hurt!

2:30

Some more

Will this ever end? Ok. I’m not going to lie, my stubbornness is waning. I feel the call of the Mommy to console you.

3:00

Hasn’t tired yet

Don’t do it! It can’t be much longer, right?

3:30

Starting to cooperate with some whimpering

What? Are you actually learning your lesson. You mean it worked? I win. I win. I win.

4:00

Cooperating

Excuse me. I meant to think, “see the important lesson that you learned here.” Also, Mommy wins.

4 comments:

peter said...

Just keep telling yourself that when mommy wins, Hailey wins, too...in the long run. And it's a lot easier dealing with tantrums at age two than the inevitable head games that will come in those pre-teen and teen years, so you have to establish the power structure right now. Believe me, I know it's hard. There was nothing worse than listening to my crying and screaming daughter when I knew I could easily solve the problem by giving in. But look how wonderful you turned out to be. And I knew that you would be a great mother.

Love,
Dad

ann said...

Be firm and stand your ground. She is testing you. Don't give in. Your Dad's right (though I hate to admit it). It's easier to deal with at 2 than at 16!

I used to think of my "happy place." For me it was a vacation in St Thomas where I floated on a raft on the ocean. No kids, no noise, just peace and beauty. Whenever the kids acted up, I would remember that happy, peaceful memory.

Anonymous said...

Well what can I say I think you've heard this story before. Your were about Hailey's age when you layed down on the kitchen floor screamed and kicked your feet in a crazy tantrum. Who knows what the reason was. i proceeded to pick you up spanked your bottom and put you in your room and told you you could come out when you stopped that behavior. Alas, you never had that kind of tantrum again. I know today time outs are the rage but every once in a while a spank works wonders and you survived and turned out fine. I guess if her behavior escalates you might want to notch up your reaction you shouldn't have to put up with tantrums all the time.
Love
Grandma

Anonymous said...

awesome.

and don't be ashamed to gloat a little. its good for the skin.