The "No" Phase

As if the "toddling" around the house on two legs wasn't enough of a sign that Hailey has hit her toddler years, we’ve gotten one more clue this week with the onset of The "No" Phase. It’s unfortunate but true. My little angel now responds to every question, suggestion, or inference with a solid “no.” Well, sometimes it’s a solid “no,” sometimes it’s a whiny “nnnnnooooo,” and sometimes it’s a noncommittal “na.” What happened to my sweet child?

Of course, my reaction to this new development was to immediately ask the parenting experts (through Google, of course). A few minutes of research later, I’d come up with the following strategies to handle The “No” Phase.

1) Don't use "no" ourselves except in cases of emergency. Instead, say "uh uh" or "not right now" or better yet, give a rationale for why it's not appropriate or what she can do to be more appropriate. For example, say, "It hurts Mama when you hit her. Please be gentle with Mama like this"

2) Use humor to get a real answer and lighten the mood.

3) Help her understand the consequences of "no" when she really means "yes." This might involve saying "No, you don't want milk? Ok. Well, I'll put it right here and if you want it, you can say Milk please or yes when I ask you."

4) Don't make a big deal out of a "no" from her.

5) Offer her choices instead of a "yes/no" option. For example, "would you like a banana or oatmeal?" "Would you like to wear the pink pants or the brown pants?"

6) Distract her when doing things that she considers unpleasant such as getting dressed, having a diaper change, getting buckled into the car seat.

7) Let her do things on her own time frame. For example, "Do you want to eat breakfast?" "No" "Do you want to eat breakfast in 5 minutes?" "No" "Ok, well, you tell me when you are ready to eat breakfast, and I'll put you in your chair."

8) Keep a schedule! Be sure that she is getting regular meals and naps because it's much worse when she's tired or hungry.

9) Overexagerate the positives with praise, if she ever replies affirmatively.

If these don’t work, then I will have to resign myself to the fact that my child is simply a brat and that it is most likely my fault for ruining her forever. To avoid this dreadful fate, please submit any suggestions you have for helping us cope with Hailey’s new found negativity.