Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation over a long period of time has very funny effects on the human body. Most of the time, I feel completely normal. Then, there are times when my judgment is well, let’s just say, impaired. Let me give you three amusing examples that have occurred over the last week or so.

1) I leave the grocery store with my basket full of groceries only to realize that I’ve driven my cart to the parking spot that I wanted to get before someone rudely cut in front of my car and stole the spot from me. So, now I’m wandering the parking lot with a cart full of groceries because I don’t remember where I actually parked, only where I wanted to park.

2) I get home from the grocery store and realize that the one pound of sliced turkey I ordered from the deli is missing. I recall going to the deli counter and taking the package of turkey from the woman, but now it’s not in any of the bags, in the car, in the garage, not anywhere. I check the receipt, and I was not charged for the turkey. Instead of jumping to the most logical conclusion, “oh I left it in the basket before I checked out or it fell out of the basket,” my first reaction is that I actually dreamed up the entire thing. I never went to the deli counter. Yup, I dreamed it in the few hours of sleep I got the night before. What?

3) This is the best one…At our farmer’s market, you have to check your own grocery bags at the front desk. I have a bunch of Trader Joe’s bags that I stick inside an insulated grocery bag. You hand them the bags at customer service, and they give you a number. When you check out, you hand them the card with the number and they retrieve your bags. Well, I retrieved my bags, but when I opened the insulated bag, the bags that I stuck inside were blue. Well, my bags are red or at least I remembered them being red. Instead of thinking that they handed me the wrong bags (the most likely scenario), I actually think that maybe I’ve crossed into an alternate universe in which I purchased blue bags, not red bags. I pretty much refused to go complain that I had received the wrong bags because I honestly believed that the alternate universe explanation was the most logical one. Eventually, my mother insisted that I go back and see if they handed me the wrong bags…which, of course, was the case. Whoa!