First Day of New School

Today is Hailey’s first day at her new school. I’m very excited for her to meet new friends, but am also nervous, as any Mommy would be. She’s clearly the most advanced one in the class, and I swear I’m not being biased. She can eat by herself, say please/thank you, drink milk from a cup. These are all things that the teacher was astonished by, but I thought, “Hello! She’s 16 months old.” Then, I was telling other people at work about it, and they were astonished too. Is she that advanced?

I’m only bragging now because yesterday I was getting a bit nervous. Hailey was running around in socks and fell face first into the wooden leg of the chair. Ouch! She had a huge bruise under her eye. I mean, is that not just our luck? Her first day of school, and she has a black eye! Oh well. She recovered rather quickly, and I don’t think that anyone at school was really concerned, particularly because the bruise turned out to be tiny. Here’s a picture of the bruise from last night. I’ll try to take some more pictures when we go to pick her up. Hopefully, there won’t be any tears. There weren’t any when we dropped her off, by the way. She's such a star!

Mmmmm Dirt

When I was in Buffalo a few weekends ago, I read this great article in Newsweek about the increase in food allergies among young children. It’s a topic that I’ve been wondering about ever since our pediatrician gave us a long list of foods that I was not allowed to give to my child for fear that she might develop some type of allergy. I thought that it was a rather counter-intuitive approach because it seems to me that you should introduce foods earlier so that children get more used to different food. Then again, who am I to argue with modern science? So, I became a food vigilante, monitoring her every bite (well, not quite, but close).

Turns out, that this “introduce foods later” theory is not the only one out there. In fact, there’s some debate about whether that’s a more or less effective strategy. In addition, there are two competing theories for why food allergies have soared recently: 1) an increase in c-sections leads to fewer children being doused with the fluids from the birth canal (which have all kinds of crazy properties that we don’t understand), thus more immune system problems; and 2) we are too damn clean! I’m not going to touch that first theory, although I have lots of other reasons for loathing the current nonchalance by which women have c-sections these days. But, that’s a blog for another day. Besides, the scientists are pretty sure that the second reason (the cleanliness one) is more likely the culprit.

It makes perfect sense really. We deprive our children of every bacteria, of every germ, of every speck of dirt, and they don’t get a chance to really build up a solid immune system. So, their little immune cells (I’m sure that’s the technical word for it) start attacking “good” things like food. Kids in foreign countries and those who grow up on farms don’t have nearly as many food allergies as kids who grow up in our ultra-sanitized suburban homes. If you think about it, you might also realize that your friends and family who are the most clean are also usually the sickest. Ok. So, that’s a little anecdotal and not exactly up to my usual scientific rigor, but it’s true none the less. All of this is really just to give a big hooray for all of the Moms out there who, like me, say “well, a little dirt never killed anyone.”

Christmas Miracle

Craig’s List is just the greatest creation on Earth! I’ve been quietly searching around for a pre-lit artificial tree for this Christmas season, since real trees can be over $100. Little did I know that fake trees are a minimum of $250, and a good one can be upwards of $600. Who has that kind of money around the holidays? Certainly not someone who just came back from Italy! So, off to Craig’s List I went looking for a tree. I ended up finding a listing for a couple who was moving. They had many items for sale including a 9.5 foot pre-lit Christmas tree. It’s very “real” looking and fits our room perfectly. Total cost = $75. Now that’s what I call a Christmas miracle.

PS: I'm creating an Amazon wishlist for Hailey to make everyone's life easier, but it's not ready yet. I'll let you know.

Multi-Tasking

Killing Two Birds with One Tennis Ball

We all know that Josie, our loving border collie, has a bit of OCD about tennis balls. Turns out, Hailey really likes them too. This morning Josie was running around the house with a tennis ball until Hailey started chasing her and saying “doggy, ball” over and over again. I quickly told Josie to drop the ball and gave it to Hailey to let her throw it. Hmmm…entertain both of them without getting my own hand all slobbery from the ball. What a bonus! Unfortunately, my evil plan backfired when Hailey decided that she’d rather just run around with the ball. Being the good herder that she is, Josie trapped Hailey in the closet with no where to escape. Finally, Hailey surrendered and threw the ball. Two seconds later, Josie was delivering the ball back to Hailey’s feet. And so it began. It was at least 10 minutes of this back and forth before Hailey looked up at me with this look of confusion. It was if she was saying, “Seriously, this dog is crazy!” My sentiments exactly!

Bed Time

Hailey goes to bed at 7pm without a peep and sleeps until 7am. Ok. That’s what I used to tell people, and it was the honest truth. She was great about going to sleep; just hand her a blanky and binky, and she was out. All of a sudden, a few days ago with no warning, our fool proof system was suddenly shattered. I put Hailey down at 7pm, but it was almost an hour and two Mommy interventions later before she went to sleep. After several nights of different strategies, I finally just decided to just let her stay up until 8pm. She didn’t really seem sleepy at 7, so I figured we might be making a shift. Sure enough, at 8, she went down without a peep. I’m not sure if this is a permanent schedule change, but it’s nice to be able to spend an extra hour with her. Maybe she just wants a little extra Mommy and Daddy time. We’ll see.

Follow-up to Very Scary Christmas

I thought that I would provide a follow-up based on some research I've been doing about this whole chemical issue with children's products and toys. So, I present to you this list of companies whose products are less likely to injure, maim, or kill our children...

Playmobil – Given a green rating in a recent Green Peace study that rated the toy companies in terms of hazardous chemicals. Companies receiving a red (or bad) rating… Fisher Price, Playskool, and Vtech. For more information on that study, you look at the report.

Green Toys – This company uses plastics made out of corn. That’s pretty cool, but their product range is extremely limited.

Haba – Toys from Germany made from wood not plastics.

Healthy Child, Healthy World – This organization (which I’m sure I will be joining) helps to protect children from harmful environmental exposures. Also, includes a scary news report about some plastic that’s supposedly in all of the plastic bottles that we allow our children to drink from.

The bottom line is that Hailey is almost past the age where I would have to be hyper-vigilant about the chemicals in plastics because she's less likely to stick everything directly into her mouth. So, whatever damage there is from sucking on plastics, she's probably already suffered. However, I would like to get her some new stainless steel cutlery so that she’s not using plastic forks and spoons all the time. I’d also like to get her some non-plastic bowls, but I can’t seem to figure out what I can get that won’t break when she drops it on the floor. I guess I could start whittling her some out of bamboo, but in the meantime any suggestions would be appreciated.

New School

Well, Luke and I went to look at a new school yesterday and decided to enroll Hailey on the spot. They had only one space in her age group, and we snatched it up immediately. The school is about 6 blocks from my office and currently has care for infants up through 4 year olds. However, next year they are opening classes up to 2^nd grade. I’m really excited to put her in this type of structured environment where she can grow and advance through the classes. Plus, she’ll be with children who are all in her age group, which will be nice. I really don’t know whether or not this will help with her “no” problem or her general bratty attitude, but it doesn’t really matter. This is clearly the best place for her to be, and I’m thrilled that we were able to grab that spot for her. She starts December 3^rd so I will let you know how it goes!

PS: If you want a good laugh, take a look at Nikki's blog from today. If you want a daily devotional, read Katie's blog. There are links to it on the right. See, I'm cross-promoting.

Have a Very Scary Christmas

If you have 3-4 free hours on your hands, I have a challenge for you. Go to your local toy retailer (I wouldn't recommend Walmart for this one), take a stroll through the toy aisles, and find 10 toys that aren't made in China. I tried it tonight at Target. I was purchasing some toys for the child that we are sponsoring and thought that I might pick Hailey up some PlayDoh as a stocking stuffer. Grabbed the generic brand...Made in China. Found the real PlayDoh, Made in China. Found the toys for our sponsored child...Made in China. Started randomly picking up toys on all of the aisles and every single one was Made in China. People must have thought that I was crazy, but I was shocked!

Lucky for us, Hailey hasn't had any of the toys that have been recalled, but I still thought that it would be nice if we could limit our exposure to toys made in China just to be safe. HA! Hailey would never have another toy in her life if that were our plan.

At first I thought, maybe the recalls are reassuring because when you see the amount of toys that are out there from China, then you realize that relatively few have been recalled. If only we could assume that our efficient government was actually doing a good job of testing them.

So, in light of all this, I have a business proposal for you. Let's start a toy company where we make the toys from green materials, AND we make them in the good ole USA. Brilliant!!!

Easily Amused

Hailey is a mature 1 year old now, so you might think that she is getting very sophisticated in her taste for expensive, complicated toys. Nope, not at all. Hailey’s favorite toy is an empty bottle with a screw on top. Could be a 20oz Coke bottle, could be a small shampoo bottle, doesn’t really matter. If it has a lid, she wants to play with it. I can’t tell you the number of times that we handed her an empty Coke bottle in Italy and bought ourselves many more minutes of grown up time in a museum, during a tour, etc.

Here are a few pictures of her playing with an empty bottle this morning. She wouldn’t give it up, so we made it all the way to daycare before I could pry it out of her hands. That’s why I am making a call for any strangely sized or shaped plastic bottles with tops that you might have lying around your house. If you have time, please rinse them out and send them to us. I’m going to wrap them in a box and give them to her for Christmas. Seems like an appropriate gift.

Other things that Hailey enjoys: musical instruments (triangles, tambourines, maracas, cymbals…no drum sets, please), books (the cardboard kind are the best), anything she can push or pull around, winter PJs (18 months), pants or long sleeve onsies (18 months), etc. Just remember that she doesn’t need much; she’s happy with Tupperware and wooden spoons. There are other kids out there that need much more. So, if you feel like you want to buy lots of stuff, then please consider sponsoring a child through Salvation Army, the YW, etc. That's what we are doing this year. Or, you could give to Hailey's college fund.

Post-Vacation Blues

There’s something about that week after a long vacation that’s difficult to deal with. It goes a little beyond just the back-to-work blues. I think it’s the sense of possibility that you develop on vacation being slowly squashed by the mundane din of your everyday life. Oh, I’ve got it bad! It’s true though. Vacation makes you realize that there is so much more to the world beyond what’s right outside your door. It also helps us to understand just how adaptable we really are (even while toting around a toddler). We came back from vacation thinking, we could move to Italy, Germany, Canada, etc. We could travel around the world! Then, just as we were about to begin dreaming about all of the adventures we’ll have during the rest of our lives, we realized that we first need to finish 25 loads of laundry, make dinner, clean up the house, bathe the baby, and collapse into bed at 10:30. Not that I don’t love my everyday life. It’s just a contrast to the possibilities and excitement set out before you on every vacation day!

Ok. Enough of my whining. Let’s get back to reality. To try to capture a little of that excitement, I’ve decided to start my own little freelance writing adventure. I’m going to start offering my writing and research services on the open market or at least to friends and past colleagues that might need it. I know that the holidays are a terrible time to start something new, but I just want to feel a little more professionally fulfilled. I’m hoping that this will give me a chance to exercise my creativity a little bit more.

I know. I know. You’re probably asking, “Where are the Italy pictures?????” The answer is they’re still on Luke’s computer. There are hundreds and hundreds to go through, retouch, post, etc. We’re working on it. How about as a compromise, I’ll give you these two naked Hailey baby pictures? That’s should keep you quiet for a while.

Be Happy, Buy This

We’re home safely from Italy. We had an absolutely wonderful visit, but I’m still digesting all of the great memories. In the next day or so, once I get some pictures, I’ll post some of the highlights. In the meantime, here are my thoughts on things in the US that don’t seem so normal anymore:

1. Why are all the cars so damn big here?
2. What?!?!No vino with lunch?
3. Cappucino, per favore.No, I don’t need a grande.Just a teeny tiny cup with some super strong coffee and frothy milk.Geez.
4. American people, you need to drive in the right lane, and move over to the left lane only when passing. Ok, so that doesn’t work as well in gridlock.
5. Only one course for dinner??!?!? Are you kidding me? We prefer 3 courses spanning 3-4 hours and followed by tiramisu and cappuccino.
6. TV…oh how I didn’t miss you. I’d trade you any day for a beautiful mountain view.

Can I just point out one more thing that really struck me when we came home and actually turned on the TV (to watch football, of course)? What struck me was how deeply we are engrossed in the consumer culture of the US that we don’t even see how absurd the commercials are anymore. For example, there were tons of commercials that follow this premise… “if you want your family to be happy and to love each other, then buy them a [fill in the blank - minivan, flat screen TV, hamburger helper meal].” Does anyone ever stop to think how absolutely ridiculous this premise is???? People in other countries don’t have minivans, hamburger helper, flat screen TVs or even microwaves (in some cases), and you know what, I could make a strong case that they are every bit as happy, if not happier than we are. Just ridiculous. Maybe instead of buying more and more crap, we should consider spending time with our families, feeding them healthy meals, and maybe, just maybe, turning off that flat screen TV so that we can play an invigorating game of drinking, speed Scrabble.

Aren’t you glad to have me and my rants back?!?!?

What could be better?

What could be better than spending 12 hours traveling with a toddler? Spending 12 hours traveling with a sick toddler, of course!!!! Yes, yesterday Hailey came down with a bit of a cold. She’s in relatively good spirits, but she’s got snot and nastiness coming out of her face. The doctor gave her some prescription decongestant which I have reluctantly agreed to give her. Hopefully, she’ll feel a little better by tomorrow and/or the decongestant will knock her out on the plane. Let’s hope for the best!

I don’t know if/how much I will be able to write from Italy. I’ll try to post something (maybe even a picture) at least once. Otherwise, I’m sure there will be plenty to tell when we return. Have a great few weeks!

The Hailey Dictionary

In preparation for our upcoming trip to Italy, my Dad and I have been learning Italian. Well, he’s learning Italian; I’m listening to some undecipherable language courses on CD whenever I have a chance. I would hardly call that learning Italian, particularly since I haven’t made it past the first CD.

Anyway, he was kind enough to write up a summary of all of the most important phrases, including “for God’s sake.” Not sure how that one made the list, but I digress. It’s been a while since any of Hailey’s grandparents have spent a significant amount of time with her. Her pronunciation of words is well, let’s just say, toddleresque (go figure). So, I thought that I’d put together my own dictionary of Hailey speak just to help them out on the trip. Here goes:

Ank uh – Thank you.

At – Hat. This word is usually followed by some attempt to put the hat on herself.

Ba – That’s ball. She can find a ball in almost any situation. You’d be amazed.

Baf – Bath

Boop – Book, one of her favorite things in the world thanks to Mommy’s great genetics

Bubba – Bubble

Cat – She’s pretty right on with cat.

Cup – Don’t get confused with up. There’s a clear difference.

Dada – You’d think this would be obvious, but might be Dada; might be doggy; might be Mama.

Doggy – Usually that’s decipherable and involves pointing at something resembling a dog (not always actually a dog).

Dow – Down. You’ll know because there will be squirming.

Gases – Glasses. Usually followed by an attempt to pull the glasses off of your face, subsequently poking you in the eye.

Gabba – A goofy show called Gabba Gabba on TV that Luke watches with her. Now, she points to remotes and says Gabba.

Goo Goo – That’s good girl, usually said to a dog

I waaa uuuhh – I love you. We’re working on that one.

Mama – Again, could be tricky. Might be Mama; might be Dada; might be a random stranger.

Mao – Nope, not the Chinese dictator, that’s mouth. Might also sound like Maof

Milk – There’s no denying that one. She’s right on when it comes to food.

No – Ok. This is a tricky one, and you’ll hear it a lot. Might mean no, might mean yes, might mean nose if accompanied by pointing at her nose.

Peace – That’s please; she’s not a flower child.

Teef – Teeth, that’s an easy one.

Tsao – Ciao! Her only Italian word!

Up – Needs to be preceded or followed by please and not include whining in order for you to actually pick her up.

Well, that’s all I’ve got. She probably says more stuff, but this should get you through your week with her. May the force be with us all!

Is it too late to be French?

I hate the state of day care in America. Hate it!!! In France, they have publically funded daycare centers and nurseries where workers are trained and valued. What do we have here in the greatest country on Earth? A mess of independent companies offering inconsistent care, paying their uneducated workers as little as possible, and charging families exorbitant amounts for their “service.” Is that really the best that we can do for our children? It’s immensely frustrating for a mother who wants to work, wants to provide for her family, and wants to leave her child in a safe, healthy environment.

Daycare is undoubtedly the reason that Hailey has a “no” problem. The daycare provider’s daughter is 3 and is going through her “no” phase. Hailey is simply mimicking her behavior. That aside, I have a pretty good daycare situation right now, but the ongoing negative influence is causing me to look around at other alternatives. Here are my alternatives right now:

1) Put her on any number of waiting lists for daycare centers across the city. The waiting lists range from several months to years. The daycare centers are not as convenient to either home or work as the place that we are going to now, and she would be around more kids, increasing the likelihood that she’s going to be sick all the time.

2) Try to enroll her in some type of preschool beginning in 2008. By the way, these preschools conveniently only offer classes for four hours at a time, usually 9:00-1:00. Some cost more than I’m paying now for full time care, and some require that I take off from work to go work at the school for 12 days a year.

3) Umm yeah, that’s all of the choices.

You might say, “why didn’t you get on some waiting lists when you moved to Atlanta?” Good question!!! I actually did, but the waiting lists for daycares are similar to the waiting list to get the roof rack for my car (don’t get me started on that), sometimes they are “misplaced,” sometimes you aren’t added, sometimes they get thrown away when they get too long, sometimes they don’t exist, and sometimes they won’t add you because they’re too long to begin with. It’s not a rock solid system that we’re talking about.

So, I’ve found one daycare, which is not particularly convenient, but that may have space available in the near future. I’m going to look at it tomorrow. Grumble, grumble.

P.S. We leave for Italy on Friday! More on that later...

Linguistically Challenged

I think that this has been a difficult few months for Hailey. She's getting teeth constantly, she's had a cold, oh and she can't speak! I'm starting to think that the latter is the most difficult for her to handle. I can't imagine what it would be like to know what I wanted but to not be able to tell anyone. I guess that I'll understand that feeling a little better when I try to communicate in Italy using only my 3 Italian phrases.

Anyway, you can almost sense that she wants so desperately to tell me what she wants but can't find the words. I'm not sure what tipped me off to her frustration, maybe its the constant whining and pointing. When we help her by giving her words to repeat, she gets so excited. She loves saying the right thing and being understood. She just rarely knows what the right thing is.

Let This Be a Lesson

Hailey’s Great Aunt Ann was kind enough to send us some of those new little markers that they are advertising for toddlers. As soon as they arrived, Luke opened them and handed them over to our little monster. Within seconds, she was enjoying the thrill of coloring on everything other than the paper that we supplied for her. Yes, her hands, her face, her high chair tray, Mommy’s clothes, nothing is off limits for a toddler with a marker. That is why I think that Mattel, Fisher Price, and all of the other toy manufacturers out there have some sadistic plot to create a generation of crazy parents. Hello, toy company executives, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that markers and toddlers are probably not a good mix. We’ll stick with the washable crayons, thank you very much! Here is the aftermath of the marker debacle. Needless to say, Hailey had a wonderful time with them, and the ink was easily washable. Still, I think that we may wait until she’s closer to 18 months (the recommended age) to try them again since this adventure ended with marker in her mouth!

PS: More pictures available on Flickr.

A Battle of Wills

I’m sure that you are already familiar with Hailey’s ongoing “no” problem. Well, it’s not just that she says no to everything. Now, she completely refuses to say “yes” or any form thereof (yup, yeah, etc). I’ve enlisted the help of the daycare lady, Hailey’s friends, Luke, random people on the playground, etc. It doesn’t matter. No matter how hard we try, the child will not say yes. Maybe she’ll nod her head if you have something that she really wants, but that’s as much as she’ll give. She probably thinks that it’s ridiculous when Luke and I sit at the dinner table and make up questions to pose to each other for which we must respond “YES” along with a fervent head nod. Even I think that’s hysterical, but we have to model good behavior until she figures it out. In the meantime, I guess we’ll have to suffer through more of the “no” phase.

Home Sick

I'm a go go go type of person. I love to be busy, get things done, have checklists, be productive, etc. Type A anyone? However, when I went into Hailey's room this morning and realized that she had a fever, I knew that I was go go going nowhere. Well, that's not exactly how it happened. When I picked her up out of her crib, I immediately knew that she had a low fever, but she's also getting some molars. About a second after I connected the dots between molars and fever in my head, she threw up all over me. Ok. Game over. Change from work clothes to Mommy clothes and buckle down for a day of snuggling and comforting.

This is really one of the first times that I've ever had to stay home with her. Don't ask me how we've managed to avoid this up until now, but we have. It's very strange to have a free day without work. I feel torn between 100% dedication to caring for my sick child (who is sleeping by the way) and that nagging load of laundry that I've been meaning to do! That is why I take great pleasure in the fact that I was able to sit still and rub her back for 30 minutes while she went to sleep. It takes an uncharacteristic amount of patience to do that. Maybe I'm growing as a Mommy and as a person. Ok, I have limited time until she wakes up so I'm off to tackle that laundry!

Oh, and Hailey is going to be fine. Her fever has gone down, and I'm going to try giving her some oatmeal when she wakes up. Hopefully, it was just a little bug.

Powdered Milk

Those of you who have known me for a while have probably heard about my disturbing childhood trauma involving powdered milk. If you haven’t already heard it, let me share it briefly now.

Like most people, I have very few memories from early childhood. About ten years ago when I was in college (oh my…was it that long ago!??!?), I had a flashback to a vivid memory of my parents forcing me to drink powdered milk. My parents swear that the reason for their deceit was simply that I could not digest regular milk. Still, I’m traumatized by the memory, and I take every possible opportunity to remind them of their total failure as parents, which is clearly illustrated by their feeding me powdered milk. I don’t know what made these memories haunt me in college, but I’ve vowed many times that I would never force my children to drink powdered milk. See, these are the vows that you should not make until you become a parent!

Fast forward to Hailey’s first birthday a few months ago. She has a little tummy problem and starts having diarrhea when she drinks regular whole milk. The doctor tells me to give her a few weeks on the Lactaid and then switch her back to regular milk. I gave her almost a month on the Lactaid, but when I tried to switch her gradually back to regular milk a few weeks ago, she started having the diarrhea again. So, I’ve retreated back to the Lactaid. Could it be that my child inherited what I thought was my fictional lactose issue that my parents swear warranted powdered milk?

I’m not sure what the answer is yet, but I have to admit that I found myself wandering around the grocery store Sunday looking for powdered milk for Hailey. Lucky for her, I didn’t find it, but I think that it may be coming in her near future. I just think that it’s probably safer to travel to Italy with powdered milk than to trust that they will have something for her intolleranza al lattosio (lactose intolerant) belly.

What Will Hailey Be?

Hailey is very clearly becoming her own person. She has her own ideas of what she wants to do, where she wants to go, and how she wants to get there. In honor of her newly found independence, I thought that I would take a few minutes to share with you some thoughts on what Hailey might be when she grows up based on what she loves right now. Here's what I've come up with so far:

The child loves shoes - loves putting them on, loves taking them off, loves walking around in them. So, option #1 is a shoe designer.

Based on her love of books and reading, I would say that it's highly likely that she could be a writer or perhaps one of those people that just continues to go to school forever. Wait, wasn't that what I was going to be before I met Luke?
Option #3 (one of my favorites) is the owner of a spa, complete with different types of baths and multiple facial treatments to keep her mother looking young.

Finally, as a worst case scenario, she might be one of those people that cleans out the port-a-potties. Sorry, babe, but that is your potty seat on your head.

Just FYI, we're not trying to potty train her yet, but she picked out this potty seat at the store so we decided to let her get used to sitting on it. It's immediately become one of her favorite "toys." Enjoy the rest of our picture set on the Flickr account.

The "No" Phase

As if the "toddling" around the house on two legs wasn't enough of a sign that Hailey has hit her toddler years, we’ve gotten one more clue this week with the onset of The "No" Phase. It’s unfortunate but true. My little angel now responds to every question, suggestion, or inference with a solid “no.” Well, sometimes it’s a solid “no,” sometimes it’s a whiny “nnnnnooooo,” and sometimes it’s a noncommittal “na.” What happened to my sweet child?

Of course, my reaction to this new development was to immediately ask the parenting experts (through Google, of course). A few minutes of research later, I’d come up with the following strategies to handle The “No” Phase.

1) Don't use "no" ourselves except in cases of emergency. Instead, say "uh uh" or "not right now" or better yet, give a rationale for why it's not appropriate or what she can do to be more appropriate. For example, say, "It hurts Mama when you hit her. Please be gentle with Mama like this"

2) Use humor to get a real answer and lighten the mood.

3) Help her understand the consequences of "no" when she really means "yes." This might involve saying "No, you don't want milk? Ok. Well, I'll put it right here and if you want it, you can say Milk please or yes when I ask you."

4) Don't make a big deal out of a "no" from her.

5) Offer her choices instead of a "yes/no" option. For example, "would you like a banana or oatmeal?" "Would you like to wear the pink pants or the brown pants?"

6) Distract her when doing things that she considers unpleasant such as getting dressed, having a diaper change, getting buckled into the car seat.

7) Let her do things on her own time frame. For example, "Do you want to eat breakfast?" "No" "Do you want to eat breakfast in 5 minutes?" "No" "Ok, well, you tell me when you are ready to eat breakfast, and I'll put you in your chair."

8) Keep a schedule! Be sure that she is getting regular meals and naps because it's much worse when she's tired or hungry.

9) Overexagerate the positives with praise, if she ever replies affirmatively.

If these don’t work, then I will have to resign myself to the fact that my child is simply a brat and that it is most likely my fault for ruining her forever. To avoid this dreadful fate, please submit any suggestions you have for helping us cope with Hailey’s new found negativity.

Huh?

Hailey has gotten into the bad habit of saying, "Huh?" after everything that we say to her. It's not that she doesn't hear us. It's just that she feels the need to say "huh?" I don't know where she picked this little game up, but at this point, there's nothing that we can say or do to make her stop. What if she doesn't grow out of it, and I have to repeat everything I say for the rest of my life? I try not to repeat, but then she won't answer. Yikes. She's only a year old and we're already having communication problems!

Here are few pictures that I snapped last night and this morning. She's starting to look like a little person now, and she's quite adorable in her little fall clothes.

A Second Cranky Thought

What I love more than anything is when I call to get “technical support” for an online application and find myself talking to someone my Grandmother’s age. Nothing against my Grandmother who is the sweetest lady that you’ll ever meet, but I don’t call her when I have a computer problem. Talking to this woman on the phone right now is probably worse than talking to someone who doesn’t speak English because she says things like, “Now, can you just erase all of the numbers out of the fields and type them in again?” Seriously, you want me to erase the 2 dates that I typed in and retype them even though they are completely correct because you think that somehow the computer is going to recognize them the second time around???? Then she says, “Maybe you could write the numbers down so that I can close out of it.” Lady, I don’t need to write the numbers down! We were talking about 2 completely fictional dates for my retirement. I could pick any random date and get the same error code. It’s pretty ridiculous. If you are a "technical support" manager, and you hire people who are running Apple IIc's and playing with Intelevision at home, you've got problems.

Random Cranky Mumblings

Let me start this blog by saying that I don’t feel good, which is pretty rare for me. Hailey has a chest cold and has been coughing for two weeks. Over the weekend, I broke down and gave her some Triaminic strips. Suddenly, she’s cured and I have a chest cold. Wonderful. Oh, but let me point out that giving children medicine in dissolvable strip form is about the best idea that anyone has ever come up with. In fact, I’d put it in my top 10 child rearing inventions ever.

Anyway, all that to say that I’m in a very cranky mood. Luke, however, should be in a very good mood because he’s been offered a position teaching on Monday nights at the Portfolio Center in Atlanta. I think that he’s pretty excited about it, and I’m pretty excited for him. And yet, it brings back mixed feelings for me as I know that I will probably never have the opportunity to teach. I could have finished my PhD, but I didn’t. It was a path not chosen, and I don’t look back on that choice often. But every once in a while, when I’m sick and cranky and in a crappy mood, I reflect on the doors that I’ve closed. Not that I couldn’t some day go back, but I can’t even imagine that right now. Couple that with the fact that I’ve been looking around for a topical blog to write on a regular basis. Unfortunately, all of the sponsored blog sites want bloggers who are “experts.” I’m not an expert at anything. I’m not even a semi-expert at anything, and so, I’ll keep up this blog for you but won’t be writing for the masses any time soon. Wish me better health and a better attitude in the future.

A Ball and a Seal

We had quite an eventful holiday weekend here in Atlanta. Grandma Scott was here because she is babysitting this week while daycare is closed. So, we spent the weekend doing “touristy” things like visiting the Botanical Gardens and the Georgia Aquarium. It was pretty fun. The Botanical Gardens has a great children’s area and Hailey had a very fun time climbing on stuff, falling in dirt and partaking in other such toddler activities. The best part about the weekend was realizing what does and doesn’t entertain her. For example, slide and jungle gym – not at all entertaining…stairs going down to the play area – big fun! Giant seals at the aquarium – no…red ball floating in the seal tank – highly entertaining! Watching beluga whales swim around – no…running the wrong way through the exhibits – lots of fun! Here we are taking Hailey all over the city to entertain her, and she’s entertained by the smallest things. It’s really quite amusing and should teach us all to appreciate everything around us from the mundane to the extraordinary!

One other funny note: I gave Hailey an old purse to play with. Her new favorite game is to walk around with it on her shoulder, but it's too heavy so she has to keep her hand on her head as she walks around. It's hysterical. I'll try to get a picture!

The Barter System

No one ever told me that I would have to learn a new currency system when I had a toddler, but so it is. Toddlers, as you may know, have their own special sense of “mine,” whether or not they can actually say the word. Once Hailey gets her little fingers around an item of “value,” she evokes her super-powered death grip, and it’s nearly impossible to get it away from her. Unless, that is, you can offer to trade her for an item of even greater value. I’ve been honing my bargaining skills with her for the past few weeks. Just to give you an example, yesterday morning, she was running around the house with a pen. I decided that maybe that’s not such a good idea so I tried to trade her for a spoon. Ha, ha, clearly not good enough. Let’s try again, but this time with a hair brush…bingo!!! A hairbrush apparently has a greater value than a pen. So, Hailey held out the pen to me and then quietly placed it on the ground in front of her as if she were dropping a deadly weapon. Then, she promptly snatched up the hairbrush with her death grip.

Now, as with any currency, there are some items that have the highest of all values. Let’s call them the diamonds of the toddler world. What items are those? Keys (only Mommy’s keys that she uses, not any plastic or other substitute), cell phones (only if it’s on and functioning), and remote controls (only the ones that actually control the electronics, and they must have batteries). That is what I’ve learned of the toddler barter system so far. If anyone else has any high value items that I might use in my future negotiations, please let me know.

Our New Favorite Food

I love summer corn so I buy it every week at the farmer's market. For weeks, I've been cutting off the kernels for Hailey until one day it dawned on me that she can eat it just like we can. Now, it's her favorite food, as you can see...



Also, notice the kisses she blows to you in the middle. What a good little monkey!

Holiday Blues

Around this time each year, panic begins to well up from deep down inside. That’s because it’s about time to start making holiday plans, and I absolutely hate it. If you know me at all, you’ll know that there are two things that I dislike more than anything in the world: 1) conflict and 2) disappointing people I love. Planning for the holidays has the potential to create both. Thus, I hate it.

With four grandparents living in four different states, there’s no way to make everyone happy and that causes me GREAT anxiety. Originally, we said that we would just rotate from year to year, but that’s probably not a realistic plan for a number of reasons. For example, last year we stayed home for Christmas which means that this year we should travel, but that’s difficult because I’m taking almost all of my vacation to go to Italy. The whole traveling to different places each year is also complicated by the three important facts: 1) I hate the idea of dragging Hailey through an airport during the holiday rush; 2) I want to start creating our own family traditions in our own house; and 3) I have a great fear of being stuck in the airport over the holidays. Still, I would put all of this behind me if I could make everyone happy, but I can’t! So, what are we to do?

The Parrot

Every parent probably has that moment when you say something in front of your child and immediately feel sheer panic as you imagine your lovely child repeating your dirty word or phrase over and over again. I've been particularly careful lately because Hailey has gone into repeat mode. The other day on the way to the doctor I said, "Hailey, did you make Mama a poopie?" Of course, she started saying poopie, poopie, poopie as we walked into the doctor's office (as if people couldn't smell it already!). So, I'm very conscious that she is a human parrot.

Well, this evening, I was cutting a jalepeno and accidentally transfered some of the hot stuff from my hand to my mouth when I licked my fingers like a complete idiot. I said a few unsavory words as my mouth was burning up. Then, I turned to look at my innocent little child sitting in her highchair looking at me. Thank goodness she was too busy eating to notice my indiscretion. Still, it's a scary thought to consider what might have happened. Honestly, I'm not much of a swearer, but there are some people out there that just have potty mouths. I guess their kids are the ones getting kicked out of daycare for saying dirty words. That's a sad thought.

Oh, on another note, I just looked up how to spell poopie because it's just not a word that I use every day (unless I'm writing a blog). Turns out you can spell it poopie or poopy...who knew??!?!?

The Walking Terror

Whenever I tell someone that Hailey is a year old, the next question is always, “Is she walking yet?” As I beam with maternal pride, I love to tell friends, family, and mere acquaintances that she actually started walking about a week before her first birthday. Here’s where the response that I get back differs depending on who I’m talking to. People that haven’t had kids or who had toddlers many years ago always respond very positively. People who have recently experienced the toddler years unanimously provide one answer: “I’m sorry.”

I used to wonder what their problem was. In general, she’s been no more trouble now than she was before she was walking. She can’t reach anything walking that she couldn’t already reach standing; so, she doesn’t get into any more stuff than usual at home. She was a pretty quick crawler; so, she’s not much faster walking (yet).

Unfortunately, this weekend I realized the fundamental difference between a crawling baby and a walking baby, and I learned it the hard way. You see, now that Hailey walks, no mode of transportation will suffice except walking. Alas, being pushed in a stroller or shopping cart is no longer cool with her. Nope. It’s all about the walking now. At home it’s not that big a deal, but when we’re shopping it’s next to impossible. I spent most of the weekend chasing her around various stores making sure that she didn’t start throwing glassware up and down the aisles. It was challenging to say the least. Luckily, I’m not a big shopper, but this means no more grocery shopping, no more Target shopping, and no more farmer’s market with Mommy. Daddy is going to have to keep her entertained at home. Either that, or I’m going to have to become one of those parents that I always scoffed at and put my baby on a leash!

This Blog Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Hailey has her first case of severe diaper rash. Actually, it's her first case of diaper rash ever. It started on Friday when she inexplicably started having diarrhea. It was terrible. So, pop quiz...what's the best cure for diaper rash? Ding, ding, ding. It's not wearing a diaper! I bet that you can already picture how I spent my weekend. There's nothing that proves a mother's love more than cleaning up her child's urine (and other stuff) off of the hardwood floors over and over and over again all weekend long. What joyous fun! I think that we have the diarrhea under control now thanks to my aggressive BRAT diet (that's Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast for those of you that haven't done this in a while). Hailey will be lucky if she can ever poop again!

PS: The picture is in black and white because we went to see the Annie Leibovitz collection at the High Museum today.

Wishes for Hailey on Her First Birthday

I've thought about what I would write for Hailey's first birthday for many months now. There's really no way to express my love for her or to detail how that love grows every day. There's also no way to sum up the first year of her life in any way that would adequately capture all of the giggles, smiles, kisses, tears, and fun that we've shared. So, I decided to just write down my hopes for her in the best way I know how - a bulleted list!

• I hope that you grow up to be a strong, independent, intelligent woman;
• I hope that you always appreciate all of your personal strengths and have the courage to work on your weaknesses;
• I hope that you never look in the mirror and wish that someone different would look back at you;
• I hope that you remember that no matter how far away your family is, they will always love you and support you;
• I hope that you someday appreciate how many hearts you've captured in just 1 year;
• I hope that your life is enriched by many friendships;
• I hope that you meet a man as wonderful, talented, and helpful as your father;
• I hope that you are blessed with all of the joys that life has to offer and that you are able to learn from all of its sorrows;
• I hope that you figure out what your talents are and use them for the good of those around you;
• I hope that you always know how much your mother loves you.

Of course, I'm sure that I've had many more hopes for you over the past year, but I thought that I'd write down a few now. If anyone else has any wishes for Hailey, please put them in the comments.

Let the Crying Begin

Hailey has quickly gone from being a sweet little baby to a strong-willed toddler in what seems like overnight. Yesterday she discovered how to dip the bubble wand into the bubble mix. She would even hold it up and blow in its general direction. No bubbles, of course, but it’s pretty funny to watch her try. Later, we had a major standoff because it was time to put the bubbles away, and she wanted to keep the bubble wand. When Mommy took it away, there was a bit of a tantrum with much gnashing of the teeth. She’s so dramatic too. She’ll sit and put her little forehead down on the floor so that she’s folded on top of herself while she’s screaming. It’s really killer.

Anyway, she has become overly attached to anything that she’s holding, and it’s impossible to coax things away from her without having a major struggle. I try to be very polite and hold out my hand to ask her to give it to me (instead of grabbing because I don’t want to encourage grabbing). Unfortunately, when she has something she wants, she just locks down the death grip. Sometimes I can make a trade, but most of the time it’s impossible. She’s also grown attached to a blankie which I now have to rip out of her little claws every morning. When did this happen, and how do I make it stop?

First Video Attempt

Ok, I'm trying this for the first time. So, if it doesn't work, I'm going to blame Blogger. I hope that you enjoy this little tidbit of Hailey standing. She's getting to the point where she can stand for a long time by herself, but she hasn't gotten up the nerve to actually walk on her own. She's such big girl!!!

New Friends

When I moved to Nashville, I did a terrible job of making friends in the beginning. Granted, I was in graduate school so it’s not like I had a whole lot of free time on my hands. Still, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes by really pushing to make lots of friends in Atlanta.

So far, I’ve made a ton of acquaintances from all different venues: work, the neighborhood, Luke’s work, Mom’s groups etc. Now, I’m wondering if I have so many acquaintances that I won’t have enough time to make any real long term friendships. I was talking to my college roommate, Nikki, the other day, and she mentioned that she has a “second family” of friends where she lives in Sacramento. I guess I’m hoping to get to that point here someday.

Hailey actually makes it quite a bit easier to “meet” people, but the problem is that everyone is running in different directions with their heads cut off trying to raise their children. The nerve of them! Anyway, we made a list of all of the couples that we wanted to have dinner with in the next few months and the list was overwhelming. So, I think that we’re going to have one big party instead. I know it’s not ideal, but I hope that it’s a good way to reconnect with people and get them all together. When things slow down in the fall, we can start a more personalized strategy. Wish us luck on our new friend initiative!

PS: I promise that new pictures are coming soon!!!

Top 10 Things Dog Training Taught Me About Raising Children

Since Josie has come back into our lives, I've started to remember all of the dog training that we did with her back when she was a puppy. Actually, dog training was more about training us than about training her. Our amazing trainer, Tracy Ann, was much like the Dog Whisperer; she taught us all about how to become the leaders of our little family pack. I knew that getting Josie a few years before we had kids would certainly teach Luke and me a lot about responsibility. What I didn’t count on was how much the process of training her would influence our parenting style. So, here are the top 10 dog training tips that we use regularly with Hailey:

10) Both parents must participate and be on the same page when it comes to discipline.
9) Adults must exert themselves as the leaders in the family. For dogs, that means eating first, walking through doorways first, and otherwise setting the tone for proper behavior. For Hailey, it means not letting her dictate her way all the time.
8) Use "no" only when necessary or it will become meaningless.
7) Use distraction or incompatible commands to control undesirable behavior.
6) A calm parent = a calm dog/baby
5) Do not positively reinforce negative behaviors like laughing when she bites or making a game out of hitting people.
4) Practice what you preach. Don't be aggressive toward the dog if you don't want the dog to be aggressive toward you.
3) Socialize, socialize, socialize. A well socialized dog/baby makes for a calmer dog/baby when out in public.
2) Exercise both the mind and body to ensure proper sleep and eating habits.
1) Heap on as much love and positive reinforcement as you can.

In Hailey news, we are taking a few steps from time to time, but no actual walking yet. Her favorite word at the moment is doggy, which sounds a little like Dada, but clearly has a long eeeee on the end.

We were in Nashville last weekend celebrating her first birthday (a little early). The pictures of the cake debacle are hysterical so I will try to get them up in the next couple days. While we were there, I did come to the frightening realization that she weighs more than her friend Corbin who is 5 months older than she is. She’s so solid, and those thighs are killer!

A Few 4th of July Pictures

Here's a little coloring action. She made her first beautiful picture, which I have properly displayed in my cubicle at work. I'm not going to lie...the child tries to eat the crayons, but she also makes beautiful artwork when given the chance.

We had a 4th of July party in our community and there was a snow cone machine, which Daddy insisted that Hailey try. Nothing like a bit of red sugar ice to soothe a tired baby and ruin everyone's clothes.


Here's a few pictures from Hailey's first dip in our new community pool. It's right at the end of our street and was just finished on the 4th. We are so excited to go swimming all the time. Hopefully, she won't be as scared the second time around.

Well, that pretty much sums up our 4th of July festivities. Hope that you had a fun one as well!

Miss Independence

How appropriate that Hailey choose Independence Day to assert a little independence of her own. Yesterday was the first day that she made a regular practice of standing all by herself. It wasn’t just that she would let go of my hand when she was standing. It was an actual “I’m going to pull myself up and stand without holding on,” and she did it over and over again. I’m afraid that her crawling days are numbered. I can’t believe that I’m going to be chasing a toddler around soon!

We also went to our new community pool for the first time yesterday. Her first swimming adventure started out with lots of crying and clinging to Mommy, but eventually she warmed up to it. In fact, by the end I was able to put her in her little floaty boat and pull her around the water. She thought that was very cool.

New words for the week: hat, up, and doggy.

Dog Meet Baby Update

Ok. I got more of a full version of the story yesterday from Luke. Apparently, Hailey was harassing Josie repeatedly. I believe that may have included messing with Josie’s injured leg. Josie growled once to warn her and then got snippy, but didn’t bite. So, now I’m looking at this as a positive thing. Obviously, Hailey was really bugging Josie despite warnings. Josie didn’t bite her although she certainly could have. Now, it’s up to us as the parents to just watch their interactions very closely and intervene whenever Josie gives any type of mixed message. Josie really is a very sweet and obedient dog. I don’t think that she would hurt any of us on purpose, but accidents do happen. We just have to do our best to minimize the chances.

Dog Meet Baby

During our move from Nashville to Atlanta, we were in a period of rapid housing transition, which included living in a one bedroom condo for several months. Because of the considerable upheaval, our three year old border collie, Josie, went to live with my Mom and Harry temporarily. I'm sure that she had an absolute blast with them as they live right on the water and have considerable land on which she can roam.

Last Wednesday, Mom and Harry returned Josie to us and her new life here in Atlanta. Our new house backs up to a dog park, so we were convinced that Josie would be very happy as long as we took her to the dog park at least once a day. So far, that's pretty much true, and we've kept to a once or twice day routine. What I didn't really know how to plan for was the baby/dog dynamic. Josie is a herding dog; Hailey is a crawling baby. Do you see where this is going?

For the first few days, the two really kept their distance, but I kept a very watchful eye on their interactions because Josie seemed very unsure about how to react. Today, I came home from a dinner function to hear that Josie had growled and nipped at Hailey. Although she didn't bite and probably wouldn't, it was a really scary revelation both for me and for Hailey at the moment. Hearing this news was the first time that I've had to come to grips with the fact that Josie may have to find a new, childless home. I'm obviously crying as I write this because I absolutely LOVE this dog. She's been a great friend to us, and we've invested an unbelievable amount of time in training her and loving her and caring for her. We just failed her in that we didn't expose her to enough children at an early age, and I don't know if there's anything that we can do about it at this point. That's not to say that Josie's fate is inevitable, but I'm asking myself, "Would she be happier elsewhere?" "Is it fair to keep her?" "Is it unsafe to have her around the baby?" I'm sure that I'm probably overreacting a bit, but that is my job now that I'm a mother. In all likelihood, Josie and Hailey will learn to coexist in a peaceful and respectful way, but I still have to worry because that's what I do now.

Everyone Loves a Good Routine

Before we had children, one of the pieces of advice that we heard most frequently was “children love routine.” So far, we’ve found that to be 100% true with Hailey. Our daily routine means that she gets enough naps, eats regularly, goes to bed painlessly at a normal hour, and wakes up at about the same time we do. Unfortunately, with the number of visitors that we’ve had at our house in the last month, Hailey’s routine is often interrupted on the weekends. She sometimes gets one nap instead of two, eats later than usual, and/or is up until well past 10pm. But, the truth of the matter is that she adjusts fairly well. Sure there’s a little crankiness here or there, but in general, that crankiness is coming from me, not Hailey!

It’s true. I love our routine. Life is so much easier when we are all in sync. Now that Luke works a regular schedule, he’s home with us in the evenings. It’s great to do things as a family, even if that just includes making dinner, cleaning up, and playing with Hailey before bedtime. It’s funny how less stressful life became when I started thinking and planning ahead. Now our dinner menu for the week is prepared and posted by Sunday. The groceries are purchased for each week in one batch (hopefully), lunches are prepared the night before, and the kitchen is cleaned every night after dinner. Having life this routinized takes some time, patience, and sacrifices, but I think that the payoff is huge. I’m trying not to let life get too monotonous, to not schedule everything, to leave room for spontaneity. That part is more of a struggle for me than creating and maintaining a routine. But, we’ll find the right balance. Slowly but surely, I think we’ll figure it out.

Another Baby, Already?!?!?

Ha! Made you look!!! No, we're not pregnant, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Maybe it's because Hailey's getting close to a year old so more and more people are hinting that it's about time for us to have another one. A few months ago, I was really into the idea, but I've since come to my senses. So, here are the top 10 reasons why I'm not ready to have another child:

10) I've only been able to fit into my pre-baby clothes for a few months and I'm liking this thin thing. 9) I just stopped breastfeeding about a month ago which means that I just now actually got my body back
8) Hailey's toys have already taken over the house. I can't imagine having to pull out more infant toys again.
7) Hailey sleeps through the night. A new infant wouldn't.
6) Although I wouldn't do it any differently the second time, natural childbirth is a bit tough and not something I would look forward to right away.
5) I haven't found a midwife that I like in Atlanta.
4) We are just getting settled into our new life here, and a new baby would certainly complicate things.
3) I just started my new job and maternity leave is not something I'd like to bring up at the moment
2) We can't afford it. Daycare is expensive, and I can't imagine paying for two.
1.5) I'm really looking forward to going through the pregnancy/childbirth process again (I'm one of those weirdos that enjoys it), but this time I'll know for sure that it will probably be my last time. So, I want to be able to savor it.
1) I just got good at being a Mommy to one, and I've heard that one plus one does not equal two when it comes to children!!!