Lots of Firsts

Hailey and Sophia (and Mommy) attended their first major league baseball game last Tuesday. Here are a few pics from that.   Not surprisingly, Hailey wanted to eat everything she saw.  She had a hot dog, peanuts, a red icee, and ice cream.  She wanted popcorn too, but that would have probably sent us to the poor house, so I had to draw the line at that point.  Sophia slept for a while during the game, then woke up as soon as people really started screaming.  It was a Yankee-Braves game, so high drama.  Sophia didn't like the noise too much.  In fact, I ended up taking her into the First Aid room where the wonderful EMT's let us use a room to breastfeed, gave us a water, and shared their air conditioning.  What a great find!  

In other news, Sophia has started to roll over. Of course, she's only rolling from front to back, but it won't be long now.   She's also laughing a lot more these days than she ever has before. It's just great!

Funny Hailey Statements

Mommy: “Hailey stop itching your mosquito bites.”
Hailey: “I’m not itching them, I’m scratching.”

Mommy: “Uh oh, Hailey, you got a little sunburned today at school.”
Hailey: “Marley did it.”

Hailey (reverse logic): “The parking lot is dangerous because you need to carry me.”

Grandpa: “Oh, that freaking cat.”
Hailey: “Oh, that freaking cat”
(Thanks for that one Grandpa)

Hailey: "I have 2 boys - Corbin, Kellen, and Mr Potato Head"

Hailey: "Acceptable means that we have to get in the pool."

Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation over a long period of time has very funny effects on the human body. Most of the time, I feel completely normal. Then, there are times when my judgment is well, let’s just say, impaired. Let me give you three amusing examples that have occurred over the last week or so.

1) I leave the grocery store with my basket full of groceries only to realize that I’ve driven my cart to the parking spot that I wanted to get before someone rudely cut in front of my car and stole the spot from me. So, now I’m wandering the parking lot with a cart full of groceries because I don’t remember where I actually parked, only where I wanted to park.

2) I get home from the grocery store and realize that the one pound of sliced turkey I ordered from the deli is missing. I recall going to the deli counter and taking the package of turkey from the woman, but now it’s not in any of the bags, in the car, in the garage, not anywhere. I check the receipt, and I was not charged for the turkey. Instead of jumping to the most logical conclusion, “oh I left it in the basket before I checked out or it fell out of the basket,” my first reaction is that I actually dreamed up the entire thing. I never went to the deli counter. Yup, I dreamed it in the few hours of sleep I got the night before. What?

3) This is the best one…At our farmer’s market, you have to check your own grocery bags at the front desk. I have a bunch of Trader Joe’s bags that I stick inside an insulated grocery bag. You hand them the bags at customer service, and they give you a number. When you check out, you hand them the card with the number and they retrieve your bags. Well, I retrieved my bags, but when I opened the insulated bag, the bags that I stuck inside were blue. Well, my bags are red or at least I remembered them being red. Instead of thinking that they handed me the wrong bags (the most likely scenario), I actually think that maybe I’ve crossed into an alternate universe in which I purchased blue bags, not red bags. I pretty much refused to go complain that I had received the wrong bags because I honestly believed that the alternate universe explanation was the most logical one. Eventually, my mother insisted that I go back and see if they handed me the wrong bags…which, of course, was the case. Whoa!

Mommy Sense

I am a firm believer in mother's instinct. Whenever another mother says to me "I think it might be time to..." (insert: change daycares, introduce formula, start solid foods, let the baby cry it out, etc), I always say "well, if you think it's time to do that, then it probably is, and don't let anyone tell you differently." I just think that mothers tend to know their children the best and have a sense for when these life-altering changes are needed. Think of it as Mommy-Spidey Sense. Does anyone else get that reference?

All of that is to say that my Mommy Sense is a-tinglin'. After a rough night in which Sophia woke me up every two hours to comfort nurse, I'm beginning to think that it might be time to cut the cord a bit here. I love having her in my bed for the convenience of nursing at night, but she's a thrasher - kicking her legs, punching herself or me in the face, grunting, etc. It makes me exhausted just thinking of how often she wakes herself (and me) up. The question is, if I take her out of the bed, will she be able to soothe herself back to sleep without the boob? Once she's out, I'm not going to be hopping out of bed to comfort her unless she's in full meltdown mode. Since the girls are sharing a room, I can't really chance her waking Hailey up if it comes to that. So, the only alternative is to put her in some type of contraption in our bedroom, like a pack n' play, to test out the new sleeping arrangement first. I could also put her in her crib in Hailey's room (excuse me - their room), hook up a monitor and hope for the best. Whatever we decide, something must be done because I think she's ready to make it through the night (or close to it). We just need to remove the Mommy crutch, or boob as the case may be.

Toddler with a Camera...

Cube Farms Not Friendly for Cows

When I was breastfeeding Hailey, I worked in a nice quiet office with a door and a lock. Every time I had to pump, I just closed the door, pulled the shades, and stuck those little suckers on. I could email; I could read; I could write a thesis (yes, I’m a multi-tasker). Now, I work in a big cube farm which is not at all conducive to pumping. Luckily, my wise employer has provided 2 “mother’s rooms” for exactly this purpose. One room is on my floor and the other is 2 floors up. Wouldn’t you know it, but the room on my floor is nasty with a toilet in it, not exactly sanitary conditions. The other room is a bit more comfortable, but about a mile away from where I sit. So, everyday, no matter how badly my feet are throbbing from my new, cute work shoes, I have to stop what I’m doing and march myself up there, lugging my big mama double-pump bag. Did I mention that I have to do this three times a day? Then, I have to walk my throbbing little feet back to my break room to quietly slip the little milk cooler (which says Medela all over it…not much on subtlety) into the fridge. At that point, I can return to my desk, put my big-mama-jo pump bag away and resume normal operations. This is what some might call a big pain in my ass.

Oh, and as if this whole little process was not difficult enough, there can be complications. For example, today I finished pumping only to realize that I didn’t have a lid for the milk bottle or a bag to put the milk in to carry it downstairs. How was I going to transport this liquid gold in an unopened bottle all the way down the elevator, through the quads without spilling it? Well, there was no other option than to carry the opened bottle in my hand. Now, I’m walking through the halls with an open container of breastmilk. “Hey, Alisa, what’s that you’ve got there?” “Oh just some breastmilk, Dr. So and So. Want a sip?” Note: That didn’t really happen, but the thought of it was mortifying. Of course, I can’t take the milk home now because I don’t want to carry it all the way out of the building so it has to sleep in the fridge overnight. Moooo!

First Tomato of the Season

Sweet deliciousness!!!

New pinwheel for the garden. Hailey picked it out...pink, of course.

Yes, that tomato plant is bigger than Hailey!

First School Project

We had to complete our first school project for Monday. It was a little scary because I didn't quite get all of the instructions, so I kind of just guessed as to what we were supposed to do. I'll get a little bit better about following directions when the homework is actually graded. I think we're ok on this one. Anyway, I just wanted to share Hailey's little family poster board project. She did all of the placement of the photos and letters. Plus, there's some additional Hailey "writing" around the pictures.

Scavenger Hunt

Mom and I took the girls to Target last night. Normally, I make Hailey ride in the cart, but I was feeling particularly reckless so I let a toddler loose in the toy aisles. She proceeded to walk up and down the aisles saying that she was looking for things for Hailey. When I asked her what those "things" were, she explained that they were "princess things." Shocking, I know! She then walked down the girl aisle. You know, the one with all of the pink crap. She was like an obsessive compulsive child, floating down the aisle and touching each and every pink box (which was 99% of the boxes). The whole thing was so funny to watch.

Now, if you don't have girls, you might not notice this, but they are making the most absurd things pink and slapping princesses on EVERYTHING. So, I'm sending you all on a scavenger hunt. The next time you are at Target or the grocery store or even Walmart (gasp) make a note of the most ridiculous item you see with a princess on it. Then, send us a comment, or better yet a princess, so that we can make a list of these blatant marketing ploys. I'll start...the most absurd thing that I saw princesses on at Target was a tackle box. Do we really need to have a pink tackle box when we're out fishing on the lake? Are we planning on catching Ariel???

We've Evened Out

This morning and today have been better. She's been eating both from the bottle and from me. I'm pleased with her progress towards being the most ideal baby ever!

Careful What You Wish For

Well, my relatively easy day back at work turned into a relatively difficult evening at home. I think that our little monster has decided that she only wants bottles and pacifiers now. Remember just a few days ago when she wouldn't take either? Tonight, she nursed for a little while, then screamed bloody murder. She only stopped when we gave her the bottle. I've nursed this child to sleep for 3 months!!! Now, all of a sudden that's just not good enough. I think that she doesn't like me anymore. She's really hurting my feelings.

First Day at Work

I’m feeling a little less (parenthetical) about working today, maybe that’s because I’m actually at work. I’ve just about survived my first day. I mourned a little in the car on the way here because I really missed Sophia. I thought that I would also be sad about all of the other benefits that maternity leave afforded me (shopping during the day, completing home projects, gardening, etc), but really all I was sad about was missing Sophia. However, by the time I got to work, I had pulled myself together and managed to make it through the day quite well. Of course, I have lots of other thoughts rolling around in my head about working and breastfeeding at work and various other topics, but I think the most important thing to say today is that I made it through the day. I'll worry about the rest another time.

Zucchini Overload

As every good gardener knows, when it rains zucchinis and squash, it pours. Thus, we had a ridiculous amount of produce, as you can see above. So tonight (my last night before work), Mom and I made 3 different baked goods involving zucchini - zucchini bread (classic variety), orange/chocolate chip zucchini bread, and brownies. It only took one zucchini to make all of that, and it wasn't even the biggest zucchini (which rivals Sophia in size). It was a lot of baking, and of course, Hailey had her hands in all of it (sometimes literally). Wow...I love parentheses today. I'm in a (parenthetical) mood. Either that or I really need a drink on this my last night before going back to work. Did I mention that I go back to work tomorrow? I'm plagued by the thought, but don't know enough how I feel about it to tell you (maybe I'll let you know tomorrow). For now you should just know that I'm going back to work tomorrow, and I'm feeling parenthetical about it (whatever that means).

Funny Moment

This morning at breakfast, the restaurant had on CNN. Hailey kept identifying Barack Obama (spotting Obama is one of her favorite games). Here's the conversation that ensued:

Mom: "That is Barack Obama, and do you know who that is with President Obama?"

Hailey: "No"

Mom: "That's Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. See. She's a girl, and she rules a country. Maybe when you get older, you can be in charge of a European Union country."

Hailey: "I don't want to do that. When I get bigger, I want to be Tinker Bell."

At least, I tried.

How Many Hats?

As parents, we wear a million different hats. When Hailey was really little, we would constantly comment on which hat we were wearing at what time...

Daddy is a jungle gym
Mommy is a nurse
Daddy is a pack mule
Mommy is a moo cow
Daddy is a pillow
Mommy is a human rocking chair

Given all of these roles, we rarely have a chance to just be Luke and Alisa anymore. That's why as much as I'm not looking forward to going to work and being away from Sophia; it will be kind of nice to go to a place where I'm just Alisa. It's a simpler role to fill.

Dance for Me, Monkey

I remember distinctly the moment when I realized that Hailey would cry when she wanted us to entertain her. For a while, we tried changing her diaper, feeding her, rocking her, etc. We tried just about everything until we discovered that what she really wanted was for us to dance around and entertain her. She would cry...we would make fools of ourselves. It was a joyous little scam she had going. Well, we've reached that point with Sophia. It's as if she just looks at you and says, "Dance for me, monkey, or suffer the screaming consequences." Then, we dance or sing or blow spit bubbles or make raspberries. Whatever it takes to get the little one giggling or at least smiling. It's pathetic, but it keeps peace in the kingdom. So, we will continue to don the jester hat as necessary. How can we not? Have you heard how cute that little laugh is???

I Need a Drink!

What was I thinking when I agreed to fly alone with both girls to Austin to meet up with Luke? It was not such a good idea. The flight wasn't so bad, but the rental car situation was a nightmare. We landed at 12:30pm. I left the rental car facility at 2:00pm after having to switch cars once, install two car seats myself, find directions to our hotel, etc. Oh yeah, all while surviving in 100 degree heat. It was seriously bad news, but no worries, we made it to the hotel where Hailey and I looked forward to enjoying a nice dip in the pool. Oh wait, the pool is inside and freezing. She didn't like it. Then, she didn't like the towels because they were too small. Now, we are sitting in our hotel room watching PBS. Hmmm....coulda done that at home and spared myself the trouble. Grouch grouch! Someone please pass the tequila; Mama needs a stiff margarita!

Happy Anniversary - Video Enhanced

Yesterday was our 5 year wedding anniversary, and by all accounts, it was an incredibly crappy day. I'm not just saying that...Luke would agree (I think). Hailey was sick, we had a horribly disappointing garage sale, he missed watching his cousin play volleyball with the AVP, we were all in crappy moods (mostly me), and it was altogether a disheartening day. However, there was one shining light that made the whole day worthwhile - Sophia's first laugh. It was priceless! Of course, like the bottle, I haven't been able to get her to do it again. We'll be trying though.

PFAPA

Hailey's mystery fever is back. I've been doing more research on these fevers of unknown origin and came up with Periodic Fever, Aphthous stomatitis, Pharyngitis, Adenitis (PFAPA) or Marshall's Syndrome. She's not a textbook case because her episodes occur at intervals greater than 4-6 weeks, but she does exhibit the high fevers with no other symptoms. Of course, no one knows what causes PFAPA. There are a few treatments that have shown promise, but they aren't really worth it for us. Typically kids just grow out of the fevers. It can take years, but at least it's not something more serious. Also, I have no idea if this self diagnosis is correct, but I'll be talking to Hailey's pediatrician about it asap.

Success!!!

After consulting with our pediatrician, I purchased a new type of bottle and used a new feeding technique (forward facing vs. cradled). Apparently, doctors know what they're talking about because after about a half hour of Mommy's quiet begging, Sophia finally took a bottle. There was no screaming, no carrying on, just a lot of time getting used to the foreign object in her mouth. I happened to have the camera handy, but it wasn't real easy to snap the pick and not disrupt her flow. Now, let's see if I can repeat my success tomorrow.

Too Fast or Too Slow?

It appears that there is some disconnect between Hailey's brain and her mouth. One is moving faster than the other, but I can't tell if it's the brain or the mouth. However, I know that something is out of whack because of the nonsensical conversations that she has. Here's my favorite quote from this morning:

"Josie's not a bad girl because I need a flower in my hair because I want to hold it."

What?!?!?! How did she connect Josie with a flower in her hair? What sentences went in between those? I have to capture more of these sentences because they are priceless!

Bippety Bronzity Boo

Those are the words that my Fairy Tan Mother will have to say as she magically fixes the ridiculous looking orange streaks I have on my legs from misapplying self tanner. Well, I didn't misapply. The can had poor instructions. I didn't know you were supposed to rub it in!!!

Buffalo or Bust

Hailey, Sophia, and I took a trip to Buffalo all by ourselves. It was a little tricky to navigate two children, a stroller, a diaper bag, and a suitcase, but we managed with a little help from valet parking. Of course, the trip was not without it's moments of comedy:

Hailey noticing a pigeon 20 yards away on the tarmac: "Look, Mommy, a chicken."

Hailey during landing: "My ears are stuck, Mommy. I need your ears."

Pilot: "We are going to be waiting here for a few minutes because there is a plane currently at our gate. Please do not get out of your seat until I turn off the fasten seat belt sign."
Sophia 3 seconds later: Giant poopie explosion noise.

Hailey visiting the beach on Lake Erie: "Look, the ocean!"

Hailey sitting in Grandpa's convertible Miata in the garage (top down of course): "I'm driving to Vegas, Mama. I need the keys."

Hailey carrying on a conversation with herself in the backseat: "I'm Cinderella. No, I'm not Cinderella because I'm Sleeping Beauty because I'm not Tinker Bell. No, I'm Tinker Bell, but I live in Pixie Hollow."

Hailey making random commentary in the backseat: "Oh, Jesus."

2 Month Pictures Available

I can't help it. She's so darn cute. Click here for more pictures on Flickr.

We Are on to Something

Check this out!!! Sophia has decided to take a pacifier. She's taken in on multiple occasions over the past two days. I just gave her one and put her in her crib to sleep. It's amazing. I don't force it on her when she doesn't want it, but there are times when she clearly wants to suck on something to go to sleep. Those are the times when I sneak it in, and she actually likes it. I'm so glad she caught on to the benefits of the pacifier just in time for her first plane ride tomorrow. We're going to Buffalo...wish us luck!

Hand Cheese

I think that most people are familiar with the concept of toe cheese. You know that gross fuzz that sticks in between your toes? Well, Sophia has a slightly different version which occurs in her hands. Because she does not take a binky, she often tries to suck on her hands. Then, her hands get covered in fuzz which balls up into little stinky hand cheese deposits. It's really quite nasty. You often forget about these little details when you haven't been around babies for a while. That's why I though I would share it with you. Aren't you glad you know?

The Lifesaver Incident

Last night was Relay for Life. It was a great time for all, and we raised a lot of money to help the American Cancer Society fight cancer. However, we had a bit of a life or death incident. The theme for our team this year was "lifesavers." There were Lifesaver candies all over the tent. Hailey had one early in the night that I broke into several small pieces, she had a second while she sat on the blanket with her Daddy, and the third she had while I was walking the track with Sophia. As Luke was telling her that she needed to sit down while eating candy, she tripped and the candy got stuck in her throat. By the time I got back, Luke calmly done some version of the Heimlich so that she was already puking and up came the Lifesaver. It was pretty scary, but she was fine and asking for popcorn immediately after. We learned an important lesson...no running with candy (or no candy period!!)

Sophia Speaks - Turn Your Volume Up

[iPhone] Sophia speaks on 12seconds.tv

Picnic Dinner

You can see our beautiful fountain in this shot. The color matches the trim on our house.

Sophia looks thrilled!

Since I was feeling like such a bad Mommy yesterday, I decided to redeem myself by making a picnic dinner for the family on our front lawn (we don't have a backyard). Hailey decided that she wanted to sit in Sophia's chair. Then, she wanted to sit in Sophia's chair with Sophia. Luke captured the whole thing from our upper porch. The colors in the foreground are our flower baskets. There are more on Flickr.

Could You Just Stop Needing Me So Much?

Luke tried unsuccessfully to give Sophia a bottle again last night. If I hadn't seen her shenanigans for myself, I would have never believed that there was a child who would not take a bottle. Yet, there she was flailing about, crying hysterically, and choking on my hard-pumped milk. It's a crazy scene. We finally gave up, and I breastfed her. You might say that she won. I like to think that we compromised - she got to keep her boob and I got to keep my eardrums. Fair enough.

Anyway, I think that her lack of bottle cooperation is having a serious psychological effect on me. At first it was funny, but as the end of my leave creeps closer, it's becoming much more of a dire situation. It seems that after these bottle incidents I immediately become very depressed, and I start to panic about going back to work. I know that it's a terrible thing to say, but I feel very trapped. I know that I should enjoy these moments with her because she will be babbling and running around like Hailey in no time. Yet, I just feel depressed and then I feel terrible about feeling depressed. Today was so bad that I actually called and extended my maternity leave by one week. Not that one week will make a difference, but I might as well take what I can get even if I don't get paid.

Tonight we will try a new type of bottle. Maybe that will make a difference, probably not. I'd welcome any words of encouragement.

Morning Rituals

Every morning Hailey wakes up chattering non-stop as if she must spew out all of the words she'd saved up while sleeping in the shortest amount of time possible. The best morning conversations are the ones where she tells you all about her dreams. The trick is that she never prefaces the dream stories with the phrase "last night I dreamed that..." Nope. She just starts talking as if the whole thing really happened. Sometimes she'll tell a story about a friend coming to visit or something that happened (or could have happened at school). It's really hard to decipher fact from fiction in the morning.

What I always know is fact is that Hailey must put on her "slippers" every morning. When I say slippers, you probably pictured pink fuzzy slippers (she has those too), but what she actually means are her black patent leather shoes that she imagines are Cinderella's glass slippers (maybe because they are shiny???). The shoes are an integral part of the morning routine which, when combined with the nightgown that she wore to bed, creates a magical dance outfit. It's a pretty strange routine, but it is what it is.

Funny Is As Funny Does

There are so many parts of parenting that are not fun - disciplining your children, cleaning up bodily fluids, changing diapers, folding mountains of laundry, etc. I think that one of the things that keeps Luke and I sane is just our sense of humor. No matter what, we always try to laugh at even the worst parenting situations. Sometimes we have to hold back our laughter until after the disciplining is done, but it's always there just under the surface. Our kids are really our biggest source of amusement. That's why this blog is so easy to write. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything funny right now so check back tomorrow. I'm sure that one of them will come up with something.

Relay for Life

Our Relay for Life event supporting the American Cancer Society is taking place this Friday. It's an event that we take part in every year, not just because I work there, but also because we envision a cancer-free world for our children. You may have seen ACS's new commercials where we celebrate less cancer and more birthdays. What many people don't realize is that the organization actually helps to make that a reality on four fronts - helping people get well, stay well, find cures, and fight back. If you want to know more or to make a donation to my team, please click here.

The Rules of Sophia

Sophia is certainly a different animal than her sister. She came with her own set of rules and regulations, which she makes up on a daily basis. I thought that I would capture just a few for your amusement (or in case you are ever called upon to babysit...I'm looking at you grandparents!)

1. I will not take a binky. Does not matter the size or shape. Does not matter how hysterical I am. If it's not skin...I'm not in.

2. I will sleep, but only under the following conditions - in my swing, in a moving stroller (no stopping to rest, people), in a moving car (run red lights if you must), or on another human being. I will under no circumstances sleep in my co-sleeper, in my crib, in something that is not moving, or without another human being within nose-shot.

3. I poop a lot. How comfortable are you with baby poop? Because here's the funny thing...I tend to poop outside of my diaper. That "no leak" policy really just covers the liquid stuff. Poop is another story and you should be prepared for emergency bath session (for both of us).

4. I don't like to be cold. I don't like to be hot either. I like to be the temperature that I like to be. So, figure out what that is and try to just keep it that way indefinitely.

5. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone, and by "alone" I mean in quiet place where you are holding me nonstop for several hours, preferably while staying in constant motion. Were you trying to sit down? Well, I'm awake now so get moving.

6. Most noise doesn't bother me unless that noise is any type of plastic rustling...plastic bags, candy wrappers, plastic wrapping on anything. That noise will wake me from the deepest slumber and send me into hysterics. Consider me a "green" baby who requires a plastic free zone.

Well, those are just my latest and greatest rules. I'm sure I'll come up with some more tomorrow. I like to keep my parents on their toes, you know. Silly parents were thinking that they just about had me figured out...ha!

Princess in Pants

Dear Evil-Doers at Walt Disney:

Why do all of your princesses wear dresses? It must be exhausting for them to wear dresses all the time and fulfill their many princess duties like being rescued by princes, throwing grand balls, and cavorting with mythical characters such as fairies, godmothers, dragons, etc. I would like to see just one princess who wears pants. This would also help me with a little problem I'm having with my daughter. If I have to hear her say (more like whine), "I can't wear those pants because I have to be a princess" one more time, I'm going to hold you personally responsible for the consequences which may or may not involve my head exploding, clothes flying out my daughter's third floor window, and/or a bonfire fueled by every princess item we have in this house...which is a lot. So, if you could see fit to create just one princess who looks a little more like me and a little less like Barbie, I would be much obliged.

Sincerely,
Mother Concerned About the Princessification of our Daughters

Ode to Coffee

I don't drink coffee. I like coffee, but I don't drink it out of the great fear that I will become addicted. I don't want to need caffeine. Here's the problem...the older I get and the more kids I have, the more I feel like I want, need, and frankly deserve a little caffeine every once in a while. So, the other day I bought some caffeinated soda ...gasp! Now, I can sip a little Cherry Coke Zero when I get sleepy after lunch. What is the world coming to??!?!?!? Yeah, I know that this is silly and I'm an adult so I should join the adult world and be a part of our caffeine nation. I think that I can hold off until I go back to work, but I'm not giving up my mid-afternoon soda.

So, I'm going to take a vote. Should I start drinking coffee every morning? (keep in mind that I'm not a morning person so this may ultimately help my marriage...no vote for Luke although he's aloud to comment)

Weekend Excitement

[iPhone] New tv on 12seconds.tv

Luke won a tv playing in a poker tournament at our local Mexican restaurant. He promptly returned the prize 42" tv so that he could upgrade to 50". Here's the 12 seconds update I recorded as he set it up.

What Not to Wear

This post should probably be called What You Can't Wear Anymore or maybe The 5 Things that You Can Wear or more appropriately Another Post Wear I Bitch About Something. Today, I'd like to bitch about my wardrobe or lack thereof. Since I had Sophia and swore off all maternity clothes, I have very little to wear. Every morning, I walk into a completely full closet and pull out one of about three outfits that fit me. "Oh you must be exaggerating," you say. Ha!!! Let me detail exactly what I have that "fits"

• 1 pair of jeans - they are actually too big, but I refuse to buy a smaller size because eventually, I'll fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, right? Of course, by then they'll be out of style, but it's the principle of the thing.
• 1 long black skirt/1 long denim skirt - these have been my summer staple so far whenever I need to look respectable.
• 2 polo shirts - I picked these up at Target a few weeks ago when I literally couldn't fit into anything but a t-shirt. Unfortunately, I later learned that busty women (i.e. breastfeeding Moms) should not wear polo shirts because they make you look like you have a uni-boob. Great. Thanks for the advice!
• 2 casual type cotton shirts - These I bought recently and apparently the v-neck and scoop necklines are better for busty ladies so I guess I lucked out on picking 2 things that actually fit and look respectably good (supposedly).
• 3 pairs of workout shorts - I'm not proud of these or the white, pasty legs that stick out of them, but it's getting hot here so the world will have to suffer with this fashion nightmare.
• Endless supply of t-shirts - This is pretty much what I wear every day. I have three types of t-shirts. I'll describe them in descending order from the ones I have the least of which is nice, clean, unstained, well-fitting t-shirts to ones that are either too big, too small, or too stained. This second bunch might still be worn in public, but I would have to justify that by remembering that I have a newborn. Finally, the ones that I have the most of are the too big, too stained, and too deteriorated kind (some that literally have holes in them). These shirts are saved for days when I'm mostly in the house, but let's face it I'm not above wearing them somewhere like the grocery store if I didn't feel like changing.
• 2 sweatsuits - yup, the kind your grandma wears. I'm not proud.

Ok. That is the full extent of the clothes in my closet that I can wear right now. I'm only about 13lbs above where I was pre-pregnancy, but I think that even if I lose the weight, I'm still not going to fit into stuff. You see things just aren't where they used to be. I've tried to go to the store to buy more clothes, but everything either looks weird with my new shape or is too expensive for what I'm hoping is a temporary size issue. I've actually started walking and exercising this week not because I think that I look that bad but because I'm tired of wearing the exact same 4 shirts, 2 skirts, and 1 pair of jeans over and over again.

Plus, let's face it, Sophia is going to be 6 weeks old on Friday, which means that I'm getting dangerously close to not being able to use the newborn excuse for my disheveled appearance anymore. I suppose that sometime in the next 2 weeks or so I'll have to start wearing makeup and combing my hair again. If I don't, I hope that someone has Stacy and Clinton (hosts of What Not to Wear) on speed dial because at that point they might be my only hope.

Backward Logic

One of Hailey's favorite new words is "because." The way that she employs "because" in sentences is quite unique. Set aside the fact that she could use 4-8 "because's" in a sentence, thereby creating the longest run on in the history of man, and you are left with the use of "because" to create some very backward logic. Let me give you some of my favorite examples...

Here's a simple one that she used tonight...

"Josie's not feeling good because we have to take her to the doggy doctor."

Then, they can get a little more complex...

"I'm hungry because I need to eat macaroni and cheese because it makes me get taller because it comes in a bowl because we eat it for breakfast."

Her turns of phrase are so entertaining (although less entertaining when she's on her 6th because, and you've forgotten what the point of the sentence was to begin with). Being the daughter of an English teacher and a logic master, I can't help but rearrange the sentences and repeat them back to her every once in a while. Still, it's just so cute that I hate to force real logic on her too soon. For now, we can't translate the sentences because we have to sit back and enjoy them because Hailey is her own unique personality because she says the craziest things sometimes. It's actually quite hard to write in reverse logic...you should try it!!!

Smiles

I swear that these pictures were taken in this order and within the span of about 3 minutes...maybe less. That's how fast her mood swung from happy smiley baby to upset baby and back again. The whole thing was pretty funny, and I was glad to have caught it on camera. She is getting much more interactive now in terms of actually responding to us beyond just demanding food all the time. Also, she's quite cute if I do say so myself.

More Worm Fun

Hailey and her friend Kellen had a little adventure at our garden last week. I put them in charge of distributing and burying the worms that I had ordered. They took care of a few other chores like watering and picking strawberries as well. Of course, the red that you see around their mouths is actually strawberry juice, and no, I don't always wash the strawberries first. People have been consuming organically grown, fresh veggies and fruits for millions of years. So, I say, let them eat dirt! Ok, I try to wipe them off as best I can, but their hand to mouth speed is sometimes faster than I can catch.

Anyway, I love having my girls up at the garden (it's still weird to say my girls), even though Hailey won't touch worms and gets a little weird about the dirt as well. It's good for them to see how their food is grown and to pick their own veggies. I know that Hailey's love of tomatoes comes from the fact that she can pick those cherry tomatoes and just pop them right in her mouth. We've expanded the garden this year, so I'm hoping that maybe some of the tomatoes will actually make it in my mouth too. I encourage everyone to try growing a cherry tomato plant or two even if you do it in a pot on a patio. It's rewarding, fun, and delicious!

Little Miss High Maintenance

She reluctantly took the pacifier yesterday!!!

Sophia is just a wonderful, happy baby (for the most part), but I have to say that I forgot how high maintenance infants are. Or, maybe it's just that Sophia herself is a little high maintenance. She is certainly more demanding than her sister was both in the fact that she doesn't take a binky and that she hates to be wet or cold or not in someone's arms. She also isn't a big fan of the bottle, but she'll take it eventually when the milk starts to choke her. Although I have a list a mile long of things that I want to accomplish while on maternity leave, it's hard to do much other than hold her, feed her, watch her, etc. Still, I must remind myself that the reason I'm on maternity leave is to hold her, feed her, watch her, etc. That should be enough, and when it's not, she reminds me to focus on what's really important - her!

A Funny Conversation

Hailey: "Mommy, I want to ask you a question about Cato (a boy from her class). Cato said that he would come to my house this weekend and dance with me. First I'll put on my dress and then my slippers then Cato will come and he'll dance with me." (I don't know where the question went because she didn't ask me if Cato could come over. She just told me that he was coming over.)

Mom: "Did you ask Cato to come to your house or did he just offer?"

Hailey: "I asked him and he said that he would, but I didn't ask Marley. Cato is a cute boy, and he's a good listener."

Oh my...I guess this is starting already. I'm not ready for this silliness.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way...

Luke left for Las Vegas early this morning. Usually when I'm a single Mom I like to plan something fun for Hailey to do. Today it was supposed to rain so I thought that I would take her to Leaping Lizards which is our local jumping house where they have a bunch of moonwalks. It's a great place for her to run around and where herself out. At about 2:00pm, I threw both girls in the car and took off for Leaping Lizards. By the time we got there, Hailey was asleep and Sophia was pooping in the backseat. Hmmm...moral Mommy dilemma. Do I wait for her to wake up and take her in or do I go back home? Easy decision = drive back home. Now, I'm driving home and thinking that maybe I could actually take a nap if I let Hailey sleep in the car. Once you've mentally committed to a nap, you almost have to take one. So, I pulled in the garage, silently removed everything from the car except for Hailey. Then, I grabbed Sophia and climbed into the downstairs bed for my nap. Not five minutes later I hear sobbing from the car, "I want to go to Leaping Lizards." Oh no...I've been caught!!!! "We drove all the way to Leaping Lizards, and it was closed," I said sheepishly. Then, "wanna watch a movie?" Ten minutes into the movie, and I'm passed out on the couch.

I hope that no one ever tells my children that I write this blog. This is the stuff that therapy sessions are made of. I mean I had to unrepress years worth of memories in order to make my parents crazy with stories of how they tortured me with powdered milk and double buckled shoes. My kids are just going to have to look online to gather millions of therapy dollars worth of bad Mommy stories. Isn't the internet grand??? Sorry kiddos!

1 Month + First Bottle

I can't even believe that it's been one month since little Sophia was born. I'd like to say that it seems like yesterday, but it doesn't. We've already been through so much. It's fun really getting to know her and love her. She's fabulous by the way. Her one month pictures are up on Flickr now.

Breastfeeding...The Ugly Truth

If anyone ever tries to tell you that breastfeeding is the most wonderful experience in a woman's life, just look at them and say "Liar, liar boobs on fire." Because it is a lie, a lie that is perpetuated breastfeeding extremists and Mom's who are so far removed from the actual experience that they have the same rosy yet warped memory about breastfeeding as they probably have about childbirth. Let me be perfectly clear...breastfeeding is not fun!!!! Nope, it's hard work, especially at the beginning. Just to give you some context in case you've never breastfed before, you can simulate the breastfeeding experience by following these simple steps:

1. Go out to your garage, get the most coarse sandpaper you can find, take your shirt off and rub it on your nipples for 10-15 minutes. That's what breastfeeding feels like at the beginning.
2. Wear a bra 24 hours a day for 4-6 weeks. You have to protect those tender nipples and this is the only way. Now, don't you feel a little less than fresh?
3. Stuff two small watermelons (or heavy bocce balls) in your bra and try carrying them around all day long. Does your back ache yet?
4. Drop what you are doing every 2 hours so that you can sit perfectly still for 20-40 minutes. Don't move or you might as well throw a clothespin on your nipple because the baby has just bitten it off.
5. Throw away all of your cute tops that you used to wear because those won't fit you for a very very long time. Nope. It's time to invest in some XXL tops because that's all you can wear.
6. Every morning be sure that you put a nice swath of deodorant under each boob because now that they hang down to your knees, you really need to be sure that the area doesn't get as stinky as you might imagine knee length boobs getting underneath.
7. Finally, next time you are out in public or maybe at work, run into the restroom and splash some water on the front of your shirt to simulate the milk leakage that you get from time to time. As an extra bonus, you should get some sour milk and dump a little on your shoulder. That way you can smell spit up all day long.
   

If you think that I'm exaggerating, consider this...I was a C-cup before I had Hailey and Sophia. Right now, I'm an H-cup. FYI - They don't do the double D system anymore, they just keep counting up the letters. So, I'm five cup sizes bigger than I was before (and 2 underwear sizes, but let's not go there). Of course, in a few months this won't seem so bad. Sophia will be eating on some type of schedule, she'll be taking bottles some of the time, and I'll be used to my new XL wardrobe. Plus, I'll enjoy curling up each night to reconnect with her after a long day's absence. Still, right now those days seem like they are so far away, and I'm very tired. I think it's time to start her on a bottle before I lose my mind.

As bad as it sounds, I would never consider not breastfeeding. Shockingly, the advantages really do outweigh all of these disadvantages, I swear.

Mastitis

I have mastitis which is an infection of the breast tissue common to breastfeeding mothers. It basically means that I have a fever, chills, body aches, and am generally miserable.

Easter Pics

Hailey at the Easter Egg Hunt!


This is what 56 Easter eggs looks like. I stuffed them all full of candy for our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.
Hailey's Easter basket this year. You'll notice that there's no candy. What an evil Mommy.

More pictures available on Flickr.

For the Birds

You know how Mommy birds chew up food and spit it out for their babies? Isn't it just a little ironic that it's the exact opposite for human babies? Well, human toddlers I should say. I can't tell you the number of times and the wide variety of chewed food that Hailey has spit into my hands over the years. Just off the top of my head I know that I've recently held chewed banana, peanuts, apple skin, and various meat products. The latest thing is gum. Why in God's name Luke thinks it's a good idea to give a two-year-old gum is beyond me. Yet, there I was in the car today holding a chewed up piece of gum. Gross. Kids are gross. There's just no way around that very simple fact.

Respect the Mommies

Being at home with two girls for even a few days over the past few weeks gives me an all new respect for stay-at-home Moms. I've always thought that being a stay-at-home Mom would be more difficult for me than being a working Mom. I've said repeatedly that working makes me a better Mom, and I truly believe that. I guess I never realized just how much harder staying at home was. I'm honestly getting the hang of it now. I've been able to take the girls on multiple outings all by myself. I've also learned to multitask with them so that I can feed Sophia and entertain Hailey at the same time. I've got a decent rhythm going. Still, it's exhausting. If stay-at-home Moms were fairies, they would be patience talent fairies (a rare talent, indeed). Yes, I've been watching a lot of the Tinkerbell movie, and you would get the reference if you live with a 2-year-old. Anyway, I wonder what my fairy talent would be? Disillusioned fairy? Impatience fairy? No...has to be Moo Cow Fairy.

Strep Throat

Sore Throats Require Ice Cream, Right?

Hailey has strep throat. Apparently, she's on the lower edge of the age at which you can get strep throat. This is no surprise since her mother had strep throat about 10 times a year when I was little. Ok...maybe it wasn't 10 times a year, but my Mother told me yesterday that when I was Hailey's age I pretty much had strep throat non-stop for an entire year. Great. Luke's comment was "Oh that would have been nice to know when I married you." Yeah, this marriage is a sham because I didn't disclose my minor illness history. Anyway, I hope that this isn't the beginning of a trend because she doesn't have any grandparents close enough to deal with this.

Worst Mother EVER!

Sometimes when I hear Hailey's call for "Mommy" in the middle of the night, I wonder to myself "who is this mythical Mommy character that she wants?" Surely, she is not referring to me. She could not possibly expect me to get out of my warm bed to attend to her lost glow worm, dropped blanket, unquenchable thirst, etc. I heard the call again this morning around 5:00am. Keep in mind that I've had a chest cold for a few days now so I'm not sleeping or feeling well. Regardless, I went in to find Hailey searching for her glow worm, which I quickly found and returned.

My general rule is that I will go into her room one time to be sure that there isn't an emergency, but after that she's on her own. For some reason, I broke the rule this time. We proceeded to play the call Mommy game for about an hour. She was complaining that her stomach hurt, which if fairly typical when she's hungry or has to poop. After eliminating those two causes, I finally made Daddy go in. At that point, Daddy brought Hailey into our room to "sleep." What ensued were 2 hours of screaming almost hysterically about her stomach, ears, and neck hurting. While I considered the possibility that she was really sick, I thought that the more likely scenario was that she could not sleep and wanted some attention. She got attention, Tylenol, milk, a bagel, and three episodes of her favorite show.

By the time real morning came (8:00am), she seemed fine again. She didn't feel particularly warm as if she had a fever. She was smiley and talkative. I thought the earlier 2 hours were a fluke so I let her go to school. About 3 hours later, I got a call from school. Hailey has a fever and needs to go home. Argh! So now Hailey and I are home sick, AND I feel like a horrible mother for ignoring my child's symptoms. I AM that mother who people curse for sending their child to school sick. What a horrible, crappy, cold, yucky day. Thank goodness Sophia is fine, so far.

Which Is Which?

Success...Kinda

We tried every shape available.

Of course, she likes the one that I like the least.

Well, she will take a binky, but only for a few minutes and only under very specific circumstances. Still, I'll take anything at this point. Her insatiable appetite is wearing me out.

I took lots more pictures this weekend. I'll try to get those posted up this week (in between feedings, of course).

I Survived

Hailey came home from school with pink eye on Tuesday. Of course, she couldn't go to school on Wednesday or Thursday, which meant that I had both girls at home with me for two days. I have to say that it was a fairly eventful two days even though we didn't actually do much. Here's everything that we survived together...

• 2 Severe thunderstorms
• 1 Trip to the doctor
• 1 Sophia poop explosion in the middle of CVS
• 1 Sophia melt down in the middle of CVS
• 3 sets of eye drops every day
• 1 Bout of pink eye for Hailey
• 1 Bout of pink eye for Mama
• 1 Josie bite to Hailey's forehead (not severe)
• 2 Baths - one for Hailey/one for Sophia
• 1 Timeout

It doesn't sound like much, but this stay at home Mommy stuff is really hard. By the end of today, I was pretty desperate for Luke to come home. I think that it would have been better if the weather had been nicer today so that I could have taken the girls out somewhere. However, the rain was pretty bad, and I don't quite have the 2-kid-confidence yet to venture out under those conditions. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually.